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Los Angeles Lakers Archives
Kobe Bryant using ‘Send this story to a friend’ feature to inform Shaq of Lakers off-season moves
LOS ANGELES, CA—It wasn’t so long ago that saying good-bye to a friend moving to the other side of the country meant saying good-bye forever. Thanks to the internet, however, [continue reading...]
Posted on July 21st, 2009
Local 12-year-olds disappointed by lack of Kobe-LeBron Final
KINGSBURY, NY—Local 12-year-olds Howard Harrison and Damien Shingwel announced today their disappointment that this year’s much-anticipated, much-hyped potential NBA Finals matchup between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Los [continue reading...]
Posted on June 3rd, 2009
Sports reporter would rather be covering economy instead of a basketball game
PORTLAND, OR—Portland Tribune reporter James Answel found himself completely unable to focus during the Trailblazers 111-94 rout of the Lakers Tuesday night, his journalistic mind preoccupied with matters outside the [continue reading...]
Posted on March 12th, 2009
2008 Year in Review, #20: Mayor of New Orleans didn’t know Hornets were in playoffs
SSNN is presenting its top 20 posts from 2008 in order. Enjoy! NEW ORLEANS, LA -- New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin was both thrilled and stunned Tuesday when, while channel surfing, [continue reading...]
Posted on December 27th, 2008
Kobe Bryant and Vanessa Bryant accidentally have a date arranged for them by AshleyMadison.com
LOS ANGELES, CA -- When Kobe Bryant registered for AshleyMadison.com, he didn't know what he expected to find. However, after an unusual turn of events this week, Bryant was taken [continue reading...]
Posted on November 25th, 2008
Madsen seen checking out a Playboy magazine at Los Angeles Public Library
LOS ANGELES, CA -- T-Wolves and former Lakers backup center Mark Madsen is facing a lot of criticism today after a passerby noticed him in the Los Angeles Public Library, [continue reading...]
Posted on November 20th, 2008
ARCHIVES: Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes
Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not [continue reading...]
Posted on November 20th, 2008
34F looking for great NBA bloodlines
34 year-old F looking for tall, attractive offspring of NBA great. Does not necessarily need to be great himself. Must be willing to constantly defer to those around him. Rides [continue reading...]
Posted on October 10th, 2008
Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes
LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not surprisingly – he's unhappy with his former teammate's [continue reading...]
Posted on June 30th, 2008
Woman who actually knows how Shaq’s ass tastes paid not to tell anyone
LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a dramatic and ironic twist, one of the few people in the world who actually knows how Shaquille O'Neal's ass tastes has been paid not [continue reading...]
Posted on June 25th, 2008
Shaq claims skewed media coverage of freestyle rap
NEW YORK CITY, NY – In the wake of causing a major stir with by apparently dissing Kobe Bryant in a freestyle rap at a New York club, Shaquille O'Neal [continue reading...]
Posted on June 24th, 2008
Pierce injures leg, unable to take out garbage
BOSTON, MA -- While Boston fans were celebrating their 17th NBA championship on Tuesday night, one of the key cogs from their latest championship squad was suffering déjà vu. Mere [continue reading...]
Posted on June 18th, 2008
Celtics’ bandwagon collapses under immense weight
BOSTON, MA -- Tragedy struck the Celtics fan base today as the team's bandwagon suddenly collapsed beneath millions of people in green "BEAT LA" t-shirts. Thousands were injured, though no [continue reading...]
Posted on June 17th, 2008
Stern maintains no criminal acts by NBA referees
LOS ANGELES, CA -- In an apparent attempt to silence critics in the wake of game-fixing allegations leveled by former referee Tim Donaghy, NBA commissioner David Stern addressed the media [continue reading...]
Posted on June 15th, 2008
Kobe demanding trade again after Game 4 loss
LOS ANGELES, CA -- During a spectacular regular season that ended with the Lakers in the top spot in the Western Conference, and a playoff run that landed them in [continue reading...]
Posted on June 14th, 2008
Electronic Arts announces recall, delayed release of NBA Live ‘09
REDWOOD CITY, CA -- Electronic Arts, maker of the EA Sports line of video games, announced today that they are pushing back the release of this year's version of their [continue reading...]
Posted on June 12th, 2008
Pierce says wheelchair is his normal mode of transportation
BOSTON, MA -- Boston Celtics forward Paul Pierce is downplaying the way his teammates carried him off the court, and his use of a wheelchair to get to the locker [continue reading...]
Posted on June 10th, 2008
Jackson, Lakers practice excuses
LOS ANGELES, CA -- Los Angeles Lakers head coach Phil Jackson, along with his team, went to the Staples Center conference room for an interesting workout after Monday's practice in [continue reading...]
Posted on June 10th, 2008
Powe’s production no surprise to friends, teammates
BOSTON, MA -- Undoubtedly one of the most surprising parts of the Celtics' 108-102 victory in Game 2 of the NBA finals was the performance of 24-year-old backup forward Leon [continue reading...]
Posted on June 9th, 2008
Bird, Magic emphasize they are not playing in this year’s Finals
BOSTON, MA -- Citing the confusion generated by the media's non-stop references to their epic battles of the 1980s, NBA Hall-of-Famers Larry Bird and Magic Johnson issued a joint statement [continue reading...]
Posted on June 8th, 2008
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