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Kevin Youkilis Archives

Youkilis storms out of spinning class at local gym in protest over lack of Hannukah music

BOSTON, MA -- Volatile Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis stormed out of a spinning class today after just 37 minutes in a vicious protest over what he felt was an [continue reading...]

Posted on December 22nd, 2008

Ryan Howard is nailing chicks as if he won the MVP

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Albert Pujols may have the National League MVP trophy, but Ryan Howard is absolutely nailing chicks like he's the NLMVP. "He's definitely exhibiting some MVP-level sexuality right now," [continue reading...]

Posted on November 21st, 2008

Pedroia making Youkilis carry his MVP award around

BOSTON, MA--Red Sox Second baseman Dustin Pedroia became just the 2nd second baseman in the past 50 years to win the AL MVP Award. Pedroia was almost moved to tears [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

Confused voters mistakenly choose Pedroia as MVP

BOSTON, MA -- Many baseball writers around the country have egg on their face today, and are trying desperately to explain themselves, after failing to understand the rules governing MVP [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

Red Sox “exhaustion plan” working to perfection

BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Red Sox have the Tampa Bay Rays exactly where they want them. "Yeah, our plan is working perfectly," said manager Terry Francona. "We came into this [continue reading...]

Posted on October 14th, 2008

Ramirez plans to become gay porn star

HOLLYWOOD, CA -- Looking to capitalize on his new locale, Manny Ramirez told SSNN he is hoping to get into the gay porn industry. The latest addition to the Los Angeles [continue reading...]

Posted on August 4th, 2008

MRI discovers beer bottles, license plate in Youkilis’ beard

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis went in for an MRI Tuesday on his injured right eye, but what doctors found – and where they found [continue reading...]

Posted on June 25th, 2008

Youkilis blasts anti-semitism as the reason for demotion

DENVER, CO -- Boston Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis is in talks with the Anti-Defamation League about a possible lawsuit against his employer, after he was informed that he [continue reading...]

Posted on October 27th, 2007

Red Sox losing ways all part of master plan

BOSTON, MA -- In a surprise development late Wednesday, following a three-game sweep at the hands of the Blue Jays, Boston Red Sox starter Curt Schilling revealed that [continue reading...]

Posted on September 20th, 2007

Papelbon won’t stop asking teammates to “hug it out”

BOSTON, MA -- Jonathan Papelbon is wearing out the portable DVD player his sister gave him for Christmas, and wearing out his teammates patience as well. A self proclaimed Entourage [continue reading...]

Posted on July 23rd, 2007

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