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Kevin Garnett Archives

ARCHIVES — KG: “Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college”

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. BOSTON, MA -- Though there have not been many occasions when he has regretted his decision of more than ten years ago, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 21st, 2008

ESPN unveils latest summer gimmick: “Who’s Porno Hot?”

BRISTOL, CT – Sports fans often dread the news wasteland that is the month of July; the NBA and NHL Finals are over, the NFL has yet to start training [continue reading...]

Posted on July 2nd, 2008

Pierce injures leg, unable to take out garbage

Pierce’s leg injury appears to be recurring

BOSTON, MA -- While Boston fans were celebrating their 17th NBA championship on Tuesday night, one of the key cogs from their latest championship squad was suffering déjà vu. Mere [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

Satan to lead Celtics victory parade, collect on debt of souls

This isn’t exactly what Satan looks like, but it’s close

BOSTON, MA -- In celebration of their first NBA championship in 22 years, the city of Boston has scheduled a victory parade for their beloved Celtics. The parade will be [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

Pierce says wheelchair is his normal mode of transportation

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Celtics forward Paul Pierce is downplaying the way his teammates carried him off the court, and his use of a wheelchair to get to the locker [continue reading...]

Posted on June 10th, 2008

Powe’s production no surprise to friends, teammates

Even Powe is surprised by his own efficiency

BOSTON, MA -- Undoubtedly one of the most surprising parts of the Celtics' 108-102 victory in Game 2 of the NBA finals was the performance of 24-year-old backup forward Leon [continue reading...]

Posted on June 9th, 2008

Celtics attribute recent road woes to absence of Garnett nightlight, lucky blanket

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Celtics head coach Doc Rivers has remained mum on the reason for his team's highly suspect play on the road in the first two rounds of [continue reading...]

Posted on May 20th, 2008

Pierce, Garnett auditioning new members for “Big 3″

BOSTON, MA -- Up 2-0 on the Atlanta Hawks in their first round playoff series, and with many fans predicting a championship run, everything would appear to be perfect for [continue reading...]

Posted on April 25th, 2008

Celtics offer thanks to Atlanta for exhibition games

BOSTON, MA -- In a class move by a class franchise, the entire Boston Celtics organization held a press conference early Thursday to thank the Atlanta Hawks for the past [continue reading...]

Posted on April 24th, 2008

Garnett apologizes to Celtics fans for “uncharacteristic” post-season performance

Kevin Garnett has disappointed with his great play

BOSTON, MA -- After helping his Celtics demolish the eighth-seeded Atlanta Hawks in game one of the their first-round NBA playoff series, a tearful Kevin Garnett apologized to fans for [continue reading...]

Posted on April 22nd, 2008

Celtics sign E.T. to make Cassell comfortable

BOSTON, MA -- In an effort to bolster their depth at guard, the Boston Celtics signed Sam Cassell on Tuesday, less than a week after he was waived by the [continue reading...]

Posted on March 5th, 2008

Garnett trying to get Pierce to watch Swingers with him

BOSTON, MA -- In what is quickly generating the potential for internal conflict on a team attempting to win an NBA Championship, reports from Bostin indicate that Kevin Garnett really [continue reading...]

Posted on January 10th, 2008

Celtics beat Knicks by 45; Boston fans disgusted

BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Celtics, wanting to make a statement about their ability to contend in the NBA East this year, narrowly beat the New York Knicks by 45 [continue reading...]

Posted on November 30th, 2007

KG: “Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college”

BOSTON, MA -- Though there have not been many occasions when he has regretted his decision of more than ten years ago, Kevin Garnett has recently admitted that he has [continue reading...]

Posted on November 18th, 2007

Boston sports fans confident apocalypse is near

BOSTON, MA -- The recent success of Boston sports teams has led many Bostonians to speculate that the apocalypse is near. "Oh, abso-fuckin'-lutely," Boston sports fan, Bert McNulty told SSNN. [continue reading...]

Posted on November 13th, 2007

Kevin Garnett spends four hours at Boston DMV in “own personal hell”

BOSTON, MA -- Describing the day as his "own personal nightmare" and the "worst morning of his life," Kevin Garnett missed Tuesday's practice after spending over four hours at a [continue reading...]

Posted on November 6th, 2007

Pierce: new Celtics “too intense”

BOSTON, MA -- Though the preseason is nary a couple of weeks old, the grumbling has already started in Boston, led by veteran Paul Pierce. "This team has gotten [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

Pierce: new Celtics “too intense” [CONTINUED]

Back to Page 1 | Page 2 "KG talks about championships all the time, man," Pierce said. "It's a little annoying, to be honest. I mean, yeah, it's great to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

T-Wolves “have a plan”

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor explained his earlier statements about the team's star Kevin Garnett in a press conference held Sunday morning in an effort to sneak under [continue reading...]

Posted on July 22nd, 2007

Celtics explore trade possibilities

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Celtics General Manager Danny Ainge is getting a bit squirrelly. Ever since the Celtics' worst-case scenario played itself out before his beady, vacant eyes at the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 2nd, 2007