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Atlanta Falcons Archives
Co-worker won’t shut up about picking Michael Turner in the 10th round
HERSHEY, PA -- Lavar Dickerson has enraged his fellow co-workers with his non-stop bragging about how he stole Atlanta Falcons RB Michael "The Burner" Turner in the 10th round of [continue reading...]
Posted on September 9th, 2008
Taylor offers to teach Parcells to dance
MIAMI, FL -- Miami Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor has made the first move in trying to repair his relationship with Bill Parcells, Miami's new Executive Vice President of Football [continue reading...]
Posted on May 29th, 2008
Vick’s prison coach eagerly awaits arrival of other NFL players
LEAVENWORTH, KS -- Happy with the recent acquisition of Atlanta Falcons star Michael Vick, Harvey Hill, head coach of Vick's prison team the Leavenworth Stars, has expressed great optimism with [continue reading...]
Posted on April 10th, 2008
Vick kicked off prison football team for dog fighting
LEAVENWORTH, KA -- Report out of Kansas today say that former NFL quarterback Michael Vick has once again been kicked off of his football team thanks to his involvement in [continue reading...]
Posted on April 7th, 2008
Carroll agrees to Falcons’ proposal on one condition
LOS ANGELES, CA -- Sources tell SSNN that USC head coach Pete Carroll spoke at length with Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank via phone Thursday evening about the Falcons' head [continue reading...]
Posted on January 11th, 2008
Petrino still unaware that Michael Vick is Marcus Vick’s brother
Atlanta Falcons first-year coach Bobby Petrino stuck with Michael Vick as his starting quarterback yesterday, this time crediting Vick’s family for defending his oft-troubled star player. “No question [continue reading...]
Posted on January 4th, 2008
NFL teams sponsor Peterson cloning experiment
MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- SSNN has received word that at least four NFL teams have reached an agreement with the Minnesota Vikings to attempt to clone Adrian Peterson. NFL organizations in [continue reading...]
Posted on December 20th, 2007
Petrino to Falcons: “Psych! I’m staying with you!”
ATLANTA, GA -- Bobby Petrino strolled into the Atlanta Falcons locker room Wednesday morning, walked directly over to DeAngelo Hall, and had a brief staredown. Then he grabbed the Pro Bowl [continue reading...]
Posted on December 12th, 2007
Petrino heads to Arkansas to build program on “commitment and loyalty”
FAYETTEVILLE, AR -- Late Tuesday, in a hastily called press conference, Bobby Petrino announced that he is returning to the collegiate coaching ranks, where he intends to build a program [continue reading...]
Posted on December 11th, 2007
FROM THE ARCHIVES: Vick beginnning to question friends’ loyalty, integrity
In retrospect, Vick was right to question his friends. And given the fact that he'll be spending 20+ months in jail, I think it's safe to say that "Guy's Night" [continue reading...]
Posted on December 11th, 2007
Desperate Vick attorneys throw red challenge flag at sentencing
RICHMOND, VA -- With their client already in jail and seemingly no recourse remaining to them, Michael Vick's attorneys launched a last-ditch effort to stop their client from going to [continue reading...]
Posted on December 10th, 2007
Vick caught editing 2007 out of Wikipedia entry
RICHMOND, VA -- Early this week, Michael Vick found himself in hot water when he was caught using his limited computer time to edit the entire year of 2007 out [continue reading...]
Posted on December 7th, 2007
Vick started sentence early for financial reasons
RICHMOND, VA -- Less than 24 hours after many media members lauded Michael Vick for voluntarily beginning his prison term before the official sentencing hearing, multiple sources indicate that the [continue reading...]
Posted on November 20th, 2007
Roger Goodell hands out suspensions in Ellen DeGeneres dog case
NEW YORK, NY -- The swift hand of NFL justice struck again this week, as Roger Goodell handed out a new round of suspensions in the Ellen DeGeneres/Iggy the dog [continue reading...]
Posted on November 1st, 2007
Vick auction finds no takers for painting of dogs playing poker, attacking each other
ATLANTA, GA -- Legal fees and a court order to pay back $20 million in bonuses have forced former Falcons quarterback Michael Vick to make most of his personal possessions [continue reading...]
Posted on October 26th, 2007
Texans draft 0-2 record
HOUSTON, TX -- In a rare move on Monday, the Houston Texans drafted an 0-3 record, even though they had the option of keeping their 2-1 record or dropping to [continue reading...]
Posted on September 24th, 2007
O.J. disturbed by Vick’s admission
MIAMI, FL -- Taking a few minutes to chat with SSNN in between holes at his favorite Miami-area golf course, O.J. Simpson reacted to Michael Vick's recent guilty [continue reading...]
Posted on September 5th, 2007
Vick beginnning to question friends’ loyalty, integrity
ATLANTA, GA -- Embattled Falcons quarterback Michael Vick recently told a female confidante that he is beginning to have some doubts about the loyalty and general behavior of his [continue reading...]
Posted on August 15th, 2007
Atlanta places franchise tag on Freddie the Falcon
ATLANTA, GA -- In light of recent dog-fighting allegations against star quarterback Michael Vick, the Atlanta Falcons have decided to shift their focus. In an attempt to hold on to [continue reading...]
Posted on July 22nd, 2007
Vick named honorary PETA member
ATLANTA, GA -- Citing an "ability to create interest in the organization and drive membership that is heretofore unparalleled," People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals officially made Michael Vick [continue reading...]
Posted on July 21st, 2007
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