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Cincinnati Reds Archives

Ken Griffey tears hamstring

Griffey hit the shelf before he ever got to the field for the Sox.

CHICAGO, IL -- In what can only be described as a freak accident, new Chicago White Sox centerfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. has torn his hamstring before ever setting foot on [continue reading...]

Posted on August 1st, 2008

Dunn reveals relation to Paul Bunyan

Dunn still yells and swears like a lumberjack

CINCINNATI, OH -- Cincinnati Reds slugger Adam Dunn has confirmed recent speculation that he is, in fact, mythological lumberjack Paul Bunyan's nephew. "You see, he's my mom's bother," Dunn told SSNN. [continue reading...]

Posted on June 23rd, 2008

Bruce bests Tiger in friendly match play round

Jay Bruce is dreamy… and apparently good at golf.

CINCINNATI, OH -- All is not well for Tiger Woods, even after the golfer further cemented his legacy with a dramatic victory in the 2008 U.S. Open. Cincinnati Reds outfielder/god [continue reading...]

Posted on June 17th, 2008

Ken Griffey, Jr. reaches 600

Griffey shows off his “I’m about to get injured” face

MIAMI, FL – Cincinnati Reds outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. celebrated hitting his 600th career home run this week, becoming the sixth player in history and third in the last six [continue reading...]

Posted on June 11th, 2008

Dusty Baker benches Bruce, Bailey

Bailey clearly wants to look like Cole Hamels

CINCINNATI, OH -- Seemingly without any explanation whatsoever, Dusty Baker has announced that he no longer intends to keep Jay Bruce or Homer Bailey in his lineup. "I don't know," Baker [continue reading...]

Posted on June 3rd, 2008

Bruce doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about

Forget a bat – Jay Bruce could hit homers with that smile

CINCINNATI, OH -- In an exclusive interview with SSNN, a humble Jay Bruce spoke about the commotion surrounding his major league debut and wildly successful first week, as well as [continue reading...]

Posted on June 2nd, 2008

NL Central teams petition to have games ended after eight innings

NEW YORK, NY – In an unprecedented move, management from four of the teams within the National League Central Division have petitioned MLB commissioner Bud Selig to allow their teams [continue reading...]

Posted on May 12th, 2008

Zito taking aim at single-season loss record

Zito begins counting his potential losses

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Barry Zito has a chance to have a record-breaking 2008 season – and for his part, he says he will strive to achieve it. The modern record [continue reading...]

Posted on April 29th, 2008

Dusty Baker promises to limit Cueto, Volquez, Bailey to 150 pitches per start

CINCINNATI, OH -- Dusty Baker has been criticized in the past for overusing young arms on his pitching staff. Not this time, he says. The Reds have some very good young [continue reading...]

Posted on April 24th, 2008

Cubs fan leader fires back at Brennaman

CHICAGO, IL -- Cincinnati Reds broadcaster Marty Brennaman did not have pleasant things to say about fans of the Chicago Cubs, calling them "far and away the most obnoxious fans [continue reading...]

Posted on April 23rd, 2008

Reds, cult suicidal after Cueto loss

Johnny Cueto’s loss is tearing Cincinnati apart

CINCINNATI, OH -- After striking out 18 batters and walking none in his first two big league starts, there were many who thought that Reds pitcher Johnny Cueto might be [continue reading...]

Posted on April 17th, 2008

Johnny Cueto anointed as savior, gives blind man sight

CINCINNATI, OH -- Johnny Cueto is quickly becoming a god in Cincinnati. After his second outstanding outing in as many tries on Tuesday night, the Reds rookie sensation was greeted [continue reading...]

Posted on April 13th, 2008

Homer Bailey’s arm spontaneously starts to hurt very very badly

CINCINNATI, OH -- While the Cincinnati Reds organization, under new management, looks hopefully to the future, many are concerned with some very bad news about prospect Homer Bailey. The trouble [continue reading...]

Posted on October 21st, 2007

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