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Brett Favre |New Curse

Brett Favre Archives

Favre: no plans to retire from being mental pain in the ass every spring

HATTIESBURG, MS -- After a disappointing run with the New York Jets in 2008, retired quarterback Brett Favre is flirting with the Minnesota Vikings in an attempt to resurrect [continue reading...]

Posted on May 8th, 2009

Brett Favre preemptively retires from remaining 30 NFL teams

NEW YORK, NY - Following an announcement earlier that Brett Favre has officially retired from the New York Jets, he released a statement citing that he is also retiring from [continue reading...]

Posted on February 11th, 2009

Favre resumes taking painkillers

NEW YORK, NY—In what has become a rather predictable off-season routine for the football world, Jets quarterback Brett Favre announced today that he will, after spending several weeks with his [continue reading...]

Posted on January 10th, 2009

Brett Favre has (probably) played his last NFL game (we think)

NEW YORK -- SSNN has (sort of) learned that (potentially) Brett Favre of the New York Jets is going to (maybe) retire from football and that the future Hall of [continue reading...]

Posted on January 8th, 2009

Jets seeking an older, more mature and experienced quarterback

NEW YORK -- A week ago Sunday afternoon the New York Jets were eliminated from playoff contention when they lost to the Miami Dolphins, but back in August with a [continue reading...]

Posted on January 5th, 2009

2008 Top 20, #9: Rodgers offers to not play for only $15 million

GREEN BAY, WI -- After yesterday's reports that the Green Bay Packers offered erstwhile QB Brett Favre as much as $20 million to stay retired, the Pack's quarterback debacle has [continue reading...]

Posted on December 30th, 2008

2008 Year in Review, #18: Favre apologizes for behavior, shares Packers playbook with everyone

NEW YORK NY—A disgraced Brett Favre confessed to reporters on Monday that he had indeed tipped off the Lions about the Packers playbook schemes before his former team faced Detroit [continue reading...]

Posted on December 27th, 2008

Korhnheiser makes MNF execs wistful for halcyon days of Dennis Miller

CHICAGO, IL -- As yet another season's worth of Monday Night Football featuring Tony Kornheiser draws to a close, the higher-ups who handle the ESPN's sole pro football property are [continue reading...]

Posted on December 23rd, 2008

Aaron Rodgers attempting to celebtrate both Christmas and Hannukah

GREEN BAY, WI -- Citing his obligation to represent the interests of "Wisconsin's fine Jewish citizens," Aaron Rodgers has announced that he'll be celebrating both Christmas and Hannukah this year. [continue reading...]

Posted on December 23rd, 2008

Brett Favre ruining Jets’ gift exchange with “buy American” obsession

NEW YORK -- Reports from the New York Jets indicate that Brett Favre is negatively affecting the team's annual Christmas gift exchange. "For a long time, every year we do a [continue reading...]

Posted on December 16th, 2008

Favre and Belichick to create douchebag magnet Sunday; expected to lure thousands to Foxboro

FOXBORO, MA—Scientists are scrambling this week, as supercomputers from the University of Chicago’s Yerkes Observatory have forecasted that this coming Sunday, in Foxboro, the presence of Patriots head coach Bill [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2008

Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama

PHOENIX, AZ -- John McCain received an unexpected call of support tonight, as Brett Favre announced that he'd phoned the Presidential candidate with some secret information about how to go [continue reading...]

Posted on November 4th, 2008

GroupWrite: Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama

SSNN is introducing a new feature in which we'll announce a headline and solicit input from our readers, that we'll put together into a story written by the readership. If [continue reading...]

Posted on November 2nd, 2008

Favre apologizes for behavior, shares Packers playbook with everyone

Posted on October 20th, 2008

Petulant Favre writes his name on all of his groceries in family fridge

NEW YORK, NY -- Brett Favre, Super Bowl winning quarterback and future Hall of Famer, has always been known for having the heart of a champion. Now, however, he's increasingly [continue reading...]

Posted on October 20th, 2008

Favres forgot to cancel Monday Night Football party

KILN, MS -- Dozens of friends of Brett and Deanna Favre were puzzled Monday when they arrived at the Favre residence for a Monday Night Football viewing party, only to [continue reading...]

Posted on September 22nd, 2008

Packer fans disgusted: Favre would’ve thrown 4 tds

GREEN BAY, WI—Aaron Rogers has impressed the football world in his first two NFL starts, leading the Packers to a 2-0 start and throwing no interceptions thus far. On Sunday's [continue reading...]

Posted on September 16th, 2008

Lance Armstrong goes for bike ride in France, ends up unretired

PARIS, FRANCE—A pleasant bikeride through the Parisian countryside quickly became awkward for Lance Armstrong, when rumors began to spread that the famous cyclist was returning to professional competition. “I thought [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2008

Strahan stays retired, wants his check for $25 million ASAP

Strahan hopes to have his gap fixed using his new $25 million.

NEW YORK, NY -- New York Giants football officials were scrambling today to see if they really owed Michael Strahan $25 million after the retired defensive end turned down their [continue reading...]

Posted on August 27th, 2008

Favre surprised, hurt that he’s not on McCain VP short list

Favre is really sad that he’s not a VP candidate.

NEW YORK, NY -- A disgruntled Brett Favre told reporters Thursday morning that he is "a little surprised and hurt" that he's not being seriously considered as a potential running [continue reading...]

Posted on August 14th, 2008

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