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Boston Red Sox Archives
Drew’s lingering back problems result of carrying team in June
BOSTON, MA -- Boston Red Sox outfielder JD Drew got a surprise diagnosis from team physician Dr. Thomas Gill Wednesday regarding his ailing back. "His lower back has been bothering him [continue reading...]
Posted on August 21st, 2008
“Manny being Manny” excuse infuriating to mother of 13-year-old Long Island boy
MANHASSET, NY -- Rebecca Leiftowitz has had just about enough of her son Emmanuel "Manny" Leiftowitz's antics, and his excuses are starting to wear thin as well. "Emmanuel is such a [continue reading...]
Posted on August 6th, 2008
Ramirez plans to become gay porn star
HOLLYWOOD, CA -- Looking to capitalize on his new locale, Manny Ramirez told SSNN he is hoping to get into the gay porn industry. The latest addition to the Los Angeles [continue reading...]
Posted on August 4th, 2008
Disgruntled Manny Ramirez demands trade from Dodgers
LOS ANGELES, CA -- Manny Ramirez wants to be traded again, asking the Dodgers formerly for a trade, about six hours before his first appearance with the team. Ramirez, [continue reading...]
Posted on August 1st, 2008
Epstein unable to deal with new Red Sox IT system
BOSTON, MA -- With the trade deadline fast approaching, Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein would like to be wheeling and dealing, trying to improve his team for a stretch [continue reading...]
Posted on July 30th, 2008
Minaya focusing on fantasy team more than Mets
NEW YORK, NY -- Whether the New York Mets are willing to admit it or not, Aaron Heilman is unavailable. That is the report that is circulating through the league as [continue reading...]
Posted on July 29th, 2008
Manny Ramirez always rounds up
BOSTON, MA -- Manny Ramirez raised some eyebrows this week when he stated that he has "nearly 2000 RBIs," since a quick check of his career statistics shows that he's [continue reading...]
Posted on July 28th, 2008
Scratched DVD added to AL All-Stars
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In a surprising turn of events, MLB has decided to add another roster player to the 2008 American League All-Star team. While most thought the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 10th, 2008
Rays’ Maddon hailed as Second Coming
TAMPA, FL -- Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon has, by the standards of many baseball experts, performed a miracle in leading his previously hapless squad to first place in [continue reading...]
Posted on July 10th, 2008
Manny looking to alleviate summer boredom
BOSTON, MA -- As June comes to a close and baseball reaches the heart of its season, the wear of eighty-plus games is starting to take its toll on the [continue reading...]
Posted on June 30th, 2008
MRI discovers beer bottles, license plate in Youkilis’ beard
BOSTON, MA -- Boston Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis went in for an MRI Tuesday on his injured right eye, but what doctors found – and where they found [continue reading...]
Posted on June 25th, 2008
“Boston Madge” keeps championship train rolling through Boston
BOCA RATON, FL -- Titletown. Championship, MA. Boston, Massachusetts has enjoyed an embarrassment of sports riches recently – between the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics, Boston has been home to [continue reading...]
Posted on June 25th, 2008
Schilling’s shoulder to have own blog
BOSTON, MA -- Following Boston Red Sox Pitcher Curt Schilling's recent disclosure that he will have potentially career-ending shoulder surgery, the outspoken Schilling announced today that his shoulder will chronicle [continue reading...]
Posted on June 23rd, 2008
Satan to lead Celtics victory parade, collect on debt of souls
BOSTON, MA -- In celebration of their first NBA championship in 22 years, the city of Boston has scheduled a victory parade for their beloved Celtics. The parade will be [continue reading...]
Posted on June 18th, 2008
Celtics’ bandwagon collapses under immense weight
BOSTON, MA -- Tragedy struck the Celtics fan base today as the team's bandwagon suddenly collapsed beneath millions of people in green "BEAT LA" t-shirts. Thousands were injured, though no [continue reading...]
Posted on June 17th, 2008
Shields suspend self for “girly punches” following Rays-Red Sox brawl
TAMPA, FL -- Apparently the punishment Major League Baseball doled out to Tampa Bay Rays' starter James Shields following a bench-clearing brawl was not enough for the big right-hander. Shields, [continue reading...]
Posted on June 9th, 2008
Crisp to file sexual harassment suit against Navarro
BOSTON, MA -- Boston Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp says punching wasn't the only thing going on between him and Tampa Bay Rays catcher Dioner Navarro at the bottom of [continue reading...]
Posted on June 6th, 2008
M.I.T. prof discovers equation to determine real age of Dominican players
BOSTON, MA -- M.I.T. mathematics professor James A. Howard has come up with a formula to determine the real age of Dominican-born Major Leaguers. An avid baseball fan, Professor Howard was [continue reading...]
Posted on June 3rd, 2008
BoSox starting rotation to work out at toxic waste dump
BOSTON, MA -- Less than a week after cancer-survivor Jon Lester's no-hitter, the Boston Red Sox announced today that they will begin working out their pitchers next to toxic waste [continue reading...]
Posted on May 23rd, 2008
Pedro challenges Don Zimmer to UFC fight
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- With rumors circulating about a possible retirement following the 2008-2009 MLB season, New York Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez gave a possible hint as to his [continue reading...]
Posted on May 22nd, 2008
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