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Boston Red Sox Archives
Curt Schilling’s blog inducted into baseball Hall of Fame
COOPERSTOWN, NY—In a move not seen since Roberto Clemente’s posthumous induction in 1973, the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York waived its customary five-year waiting period earlier [continue reading...]
Posted on March 25th, 2009
Manny Ramirez can’t stop talking about “difficult economic times”
LOS ANGELES, CA—No one is safe from economic hardships these days, not even the multi-billion dollar sports industry. Players, coaches, and owners alike have all felt the pinch of the [continue reading...]
Posted on February 4th, 2009
Boston man spends two-thirds of date talking about John Smoltz
BOSTON, MA -- After a blind date turned into an educational seminar on baseball, Jamie Jones told SSNN there is a "better chance of Tommy [O'Brien, her date] sleeping with [continue reading...]
Posted on January 27th, 2009
Peter Gammons still talking about baseball right now
GROTON, MA -- According to his wife and other sources in his inner circle, ESPN reporter Peter Gammons continues to talk about baseball, even though most of the major free [continue reading...]
Posted on January 13th, 2009
Red Sox fans “didn’t want that Teixeira douche anyway”
BOSTON, MA—One would have thought that the Yankees nabbing former Angels first baseman Mark Teixeira and signing him to an 8-year $180 million deal would have put a bit of [continue reading...]
Posted on December 26th, 2008
Youkilis storms out of spinning class at local gym in protest over lack of Hannukah music
BOSTON, MA -- Volatile Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis stormed out of a spinning class today after just 37 minutes in a vicious protest over what he felt was an [continue reading...]
Posted on December 22nd, 2008
ESPN discovers 28 other MLB squads
BRISTOL, CT -- With the help of a research team numbering in the hundreds, sports media giant ESPN made a startling discovery this weekend that, over time, could prove to [continue reading...]
Posted on December 21st, 2008
ESPN discovers 28 other MLB squads
BRISTOL, CT -- With the help of a research team numbering in the hundreds, sports media giant ESPN made a startling discovery this weekend that, over time, could prove to [continue reading...]
Posted on December 20th, 2008
Ryan Howard is nailing chicks as if he won the MVP
PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Albert Pujols may have the National League MVP trophy, but Ryan Howard is absolutely nailing chicks like he's the NLMVP. "He's definitely exhibiting some MVP-level sexuality right now," [continue reading...]
Posted on November 21st, 2008
Pedroia making Youkilis carry his MVP award around
BOSTON, MA--Red Sox Second baseman Dustin Pedroia became just the 2nd second baseman in the past 50 years to win the AL MVP Award. Pedroia was almost moved to tears [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
Confused voters mistakenly choose Pedroia as MVP
BOSTON, MA -- Many baseball writers around the country have egg on their face today, and are trying desperately to explain themselves, after failing to understand the rules governing MVP [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2008
Local man catches self accidentally rooting for Red Sox; pukes on new couch
TERRE HAUTE, IN -- Local consultant John DeWitte was just sitting around on Thursday night, catching a little baseball while his wife Stephanie napped on the couch next to him. [continue reading...]
Posted on October 17th, 2008
Rays heading to Tampa for game one of World Series anyway
TAMPA BAY, FL -- The Tampa Bay Rays flew home early this morning, celebrating as they plan on starting the World Series at home next Wednesday, even though they lost [continue reading...]
Posted on October 17th, 2008
Red Sox seek to be added to federal bailout
BOSTON -- Boston Red Sox owner John Henry announced today that he's very close to a deal with the U.S. Treasury in which the Boston Red Sox will be added [continue reading...]
Posted on October 15th, 2008
Red Sox hoping to trade for a big bat for the rest of the postseason, like Manny Ramirez
BOSTON, MA -- A panicked Theo Epstein spent the entire evening Tuesday working the phones and his BlackBerry, attempting desperately to obtain a power hitter for the Red Sox lineup [continue reading...]
Posted on October 15th, 2008
Red Sox “exhaustion plan” working to perfection
BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Red Sox have the Tampa Bay Rays exactly where they want them. "Yeah, our plan is working perfectly," said manager Terry Francona. "We came into this [continue reading...]
Posted on October 14th, 2008
Defiant atheist continues to use the term ‘Devil Rays’
JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Local atheist John Meyers has launched a subtle and moderately passive-aggressive protest as more and more attention is focused on the success of the Tampa Bay Rays [continue reading...]
Posted on October 13th, 2008
Vitale so excited about the Rays that he’s just walking around yelling all the time and saying these ridiculous phrases
TAMPA BAY, FL -- Dick Vitale, who has been a Tampa Bay Rays season ticket holder since the team's move to the Tampa area, is so excited about the Rays' [continue reading...]
Posted on October 12th, 2008
Boston sports fans gear up for hockey season
BOSTON, MA -- Just two days after beloved New England Patriots QB Tom Brady went down with a season ending torn ACL, Boston fans have already started looking to the [continue reading...]
Posted on September 10th, 2008
Papelbon changes intro song from “Wild Thing” to “I Kissed a Girl”
BOSTON, MA—Jonathan Papelbon, all-star closer for the Red Sox has announced that he will change the song played when he leaves the bullpen from the Troggs' "Wild Thing" to Katy [continue reading...]
Posted on August 31st, 2008
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