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Chicago Bears Archives
Packers embroiled in retirement controversy
GREEN BAY, WI -- Earlier this year, he announced he was leaving the Green Bay Packers and the National Football League behind. He already had a storied career, he was [continue reading...]
Posted on July 18th, 2008
Favre to return in new role
KILN, MS -- Legendary Packers quarterback Brett Favre has finally officially announced that he will, indeed, return to the world of sports this year. "I was really dreading retirement, to be [continue reading...]
Posted on July 17th, 2008
Benson to enroll in flight school after latest arrest, release from Bears
AUSTIN, TX -- Though Cedric Benson's two alcohol-related arrests this summer led to his being cut from the Chicago Bears, they have not diminished his desire to succeed. "Like I've told [continue reading...]
Posted on June 10th, 2008
Benson says arrest is part of training program
AUSTIN, TX -- Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson says his recent arrest in Texas is [continue reading...]
Posted on May 7th, 2008
Cops say Benson is surprisingly easy to take down
AUSTIN, TX -- When Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson was arrested for driving his boat on an Austin, Texas lake, police say they were surprised by how easily the [continue reading...]
Posted on May 6th, 2008
Jerry Angelo spotted buying USA Sports Weekly at 7-11
CHICAGO, IL -- Admitting that he "totally bricked on the date" and is "feeling a bit embarrassed right now," Jerry Angelo was seen early Saturday purchasing a USA Sports Weekly [continue reading...]
Posted on April 26th, 2008
Bush shines at USC pro day
LOS ANGELES, CA -- The USC Trojans held their annual Pro Day yesterday in hopes of attracting notice for players hoping to be picked in the upcoming NFL draft. However, [continue reading...]
Posted on March 14th, 2008
Lovie: Orton’s spot safe with Bears
CHICAGO, IL -- With trade rumors swirling around the Bears acquiring Philadelphia quarterback Donovan Mcnabb in the offseason, coach Lovie Smith told the media that whatever happens, quarterback Kyle Orton’s [continue reading...]
Posted on January 17th, 2008
Bears’ Adrian Peterson admits to cloning evil twin
CHICAGO, IL -- At a press conference this afternoon, Chicago Bears' running back Adrian Peterson admitted that he cloned himself when he was a child. "I was six," the 28-year [continue reading...]
Posted on January 9th, 2008
One game left: Manning shifts focus to Pro Bowl
A frustrated Peyton Manning blamed his first Super Bowl win on Rex Grossman, and then lashed out at his Pro Bowl teammates for celebrating too early. "What are you doing?" Manning [continue reading...]
Posted on January 1st, 2008
Devin Hester sets another record on MNF
MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Devin Hester's amazing career continued Monday night, as he destroyed another record. Hester is now the all-time NFL record holder for "most graphics devoted to a return [continue reading...]
Posted on December 18th, 2007
Goodell: Redskins, Bears must both try to win
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Charting new territory even for himself, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has sent an urgent memo to both the Washington Redskins and the Chicago Bears on the morning [continue reading...]
Posted on December 6th, 2007
Briles took Baylor job on dare
WACO, TX -- University of Houston football Coach Art Briles surprised college football fans and experts alike this week when he decided to leave the Cougars for the head coaching [continue reading...]
Posted on December 1st, 2007
Urlacher believes he’s making up for on-field disappointment by “tackling illiteracy”
CHICAGO, IL -- Speaking to media on Monday, Bears' linebacker Brian Urlacher confronted criticism that his aching back has made him ineffective on the field. "I may be a recognized [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2007
Griese, Grossman, Orton to form QuarterBear
CHICAGO, IL -- In the wake of yet another change at the starting quarterback position for the Chicago Bears, the team has announced that the three competing signal callers – [continue reading...]
Posted on November 15th, 2007
Grossman optimistic about promotion to closer
OAKLAND, CA -- Oft-maligned quarterback Rex Grossman found reason for optimism in his recent promotion to closer for the Chicago Bears. "I think this move strengthens our team as a [continue reading...]
Posted on November 12th, 2007
Spencer from The Hills makes anti-fantasy football comments, solidifies title as ‘biggest douche ever’
HOLLYWOOD HILLS, CA -- Spencer Pratt, long established as the biggest douche in modern America, has reportedly clinched the title as biggest douche in human history after making a [continue reading...]
Posted on November 5th, 2007
NFL rejects Bears’ petition requesting bionic legs for Brown
CHICAGO, IL -- The NFL announced Tuesday that they have rejected a petition by the Chicago Bears to allow safety Mike Brown to play football with bionic legs. Though Commissioner [continue reading...]
Posted on September 29th, 2007
Griese excited about opportunity, promises mediocrity
CHICAGO, IL -- Only hours after being named as the starter for Sunday's game with the Detroit Lions, Bears quarterback Brian Griese made a bold prediction the remainder [continue reading...]
Posted on September 27th, 2007
Romo: Bears’ Grossman "No Romo," but could be worse
CHICAGO, IL -- In a Tuesday interview with SSNN following the Cowboys 34-10 thrashing of the Chicago Bears, Tony Romo gave opposing quarterback Rex Grossman a [continue reading...]
Posted on September 25th, 2007
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