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2008 Election Archives

Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama

PHOENIX, AZ -- John McCain received an unexpected call of support tonight, as Brett Favre announced that he'd phoned the Presidential candidate with some secret information about how to go [continue reading...]

Posted on November 4th, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: McCain admits he doesn’t know who Hamels is; election in jeopardy

SCRANTON, PA -- This afternoon, John McCain held a town-hall style event at a VFW here. These events are considered to be McCain's specialty, but today, McCain made a costly [continue reading...]

Posted on October 30th, 2008

Obama uses entire half-hour infomercial to talk about Cole Hamels

SUNRISE, FL -- In what may go down as the major surprise in this year's election, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama used his entire, $4 million half-hour infomercial to make [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2008

Palin’s clothing spree includes $84,000 worth of Chad Johnson jerseys

CINCINNATI, OH -- Many were outraged this week when it was discovered the GOP vice presidential nominee had spent $150,000 on new clothing since her selection to the ticket. However, all [continue reading...]

Posted on October 24th, 2008

Colts would like Peyton Manning to be a little more folksy, like Sarah Palin

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- The Indianapolis Colts, less than two years removed from a Super Bowl title, have made an unusual request to quarterback Peyton Manning. "Yes, we did make a request [continue reading...]

Posted on October 3rd, 2008

Angry Al Davis to run for President

OAKLAND, CA—Unsatisfied with running an NFL franchise and filled with contempt for the Washington establishment, and to a larger degree the human race in general, controversial football executive Al Davis [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2008

McCain wants to postpone debate until fantasy baseball season is over

OXFORD, MS -- Citing the unbelievable pressures facing most fantasy baseball playing Americans and the heady times that are coming up this weekend, John McCain has proposed that the presidential [continue reading...]

Posted on September 26th, 2008

Millen joins McCain campaign

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Recently dismissed from his controversial tenure as President and CEO of the Detroit Lions, NFL pariah Matt Millen has announced he will be temporarily putting his football career on [continue reading...]

Posted on September 25th, 2008

McCain makes waiver claim on Paul Hornung

WASHINGTON, DC -- In an effort to demonstrate that he's not out of touch with the average American and also demonstrate some of his rapidly developing computer skills, John McCain [continue reading...]

Posted on September 25th, 2008

Bettman thrilled that Sarah Palin keeps mentioning hockey

NEW YORK -- John McCain's selection of Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate may have been an unabashed attempt to placate disenfranchised conservative voters, but it has had [continue reading...]

Posted on September 16th, 2008

Palin skips interview prep to play Big Buck Hunter

WASILLA, AK -- Sarah Palin's embarrassing moment with Charles Gibson in last week's interview could have been avoided, people close to the campaign have said. "We had a full-day session planned [continue reading...]

Posted on September 14th, 2008

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