Kobe Bryant using ‘Send this story to a friend’ feature to inform Shaq of Lakers off-season moves

LOS ANGELES, CA—It wasn’t so long ago that saying good-bye to a friend moving to the other side of the country meant saying good-bye forever. Thanks to the internet, however, keeping in touch couldn’t be easier—and one L.A. Laker in particular is reaping its benefits.

“I just like keeping guys in the loop,” said an unusually happy Kobe Bryant as he clicked the ‘Send this story to a friend’ option on an op-ed piece detailing how the Lakers recent acquisition of Ron Artest makes them the favorite to repeat as NBA champions. “Shaq’s been away for a long time now, and I figure he’s always going to be interested in what his old friends are up to.”

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Bryant told SSNN from his home in Newport Coast that he never really paid attention to the age-old news feature until a few months ago.

“I was just doing a routine search of ‘Kobe Bryant + Greatest Ever’ when I stumbled across this blog that listed the top five all-time Lakers players, with yours truly at number two, behind Magic, and ahead of Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem [Abdul-Jabbar] and Jerry West. And then I said, ‘You know who would love this? Shaq!’ and it just took off from there.”

Since then, Bryant has constantly been updating O’Neal on Lakers personnel moves, victories, and Bryant’s personal accomplishments.

“We also won the championship a month ago, I wonder if he heard about that…no, that’s right, I think I dropped him a line or two, or thirty, about that,” said the Finals MVP as a broad smile appeared on his face.

“I’ve also sent him a few pieces about himself, too,” added the two-time scoring champion. “Some of them not too flattering, mind you: a few that questioned the value of a fading 37-year-old with injury problems as the best way to build a championship team but Shaq’s the type of guy that’s interested in any type of publicity, so sending a few things he might’ve missed is probably helpful.”

Though Bryant seems to be thoroughly enjoying keeping in touch with his old partner, he did admit that O’Neal has been less than forthcoming with news from his neck of the woods.

“He did send me the one about him going to Cleveland,” recalled the eleven-time all-star. “He attached a message too, it was like, ‘I’m with the King now, biotch,’ or something. And he did send me a strange one, ‘How to spot a sexual predator,’ though I didn’t really get what that one was about. Other than that he s been pretty quiet.”

The four-time NBA champ said he looks forward to sending O’Neal future stories concerning Lamar Odom, the Lakers championship rings presentation, and further speculation that Kobe Bryant is the greatest player of his generation.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, right? There’s nothing more important than staying in touch with the people who matter.”