Curt Schilling’s blog inducted into baseball Hall of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—In a move not seen since Roberto Clemente’s posthumous induction in 1973, the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York waived its customary five-year waiting period earlier today and elected Curt Schillings’ blog 38pitches into its hallowed halls.

“We feel that 38pitches’ impact on the game was so profound, so groundbreaking, that we felt that immediate induction was appropriate,” said Hall of Fame president Jeff Idelson. “Overlooking 38pitches would be an absolute travesty.”

38pitches is the first blog to be inducted into Cooperstown, joining company with other famous firsts such as Jackie Robinson, Roberto Clemente, and Cal Ripken Jr., the first clone ever inducted into the hall.

First bursting on to the scene shortly before the 2007 season, 38pitches made an immediate impact in the big leagues as the bullhorn for one of the games most feared mouths, Curt Schilling. In Schilling’s own words, “[38pitches] took my game to a whole ‘nuther level. Once I hit that ‘update’ button, we’re gone. No time to take it back, no time to pause and reflect. Uncompromising. Fearless. Just like me. Some people will want to talk about my postseason dominance, my three World Series titles, my 3,000 strikeouts, but 38pitches ensured that my lasting legacy would be the one that has always mattered to me the most: my mouth.”

38pitches’ career highlights include 18 spelling and factual errors in a single post in 2007, four updates in a fifteen-minute period in 2008, being the first professional athlete’s blog to announce planned intercourse with a spouse, and a career total of 1,834 references to Jesus Christ, a record for a professional athlete’s blog.

“38pitches really set the standard,” said baseball historian Bill James. “There had been athletic blogs before, but they were run by PR guys or by athletes with a mental filler. Schilling had neither of those, so 38pitches just let it all hang out. It really was a catalyst in making blogs what they are today. If there was no 38[pitches], there would be no Chris Bosh or Shaquille O’Neal twittering away. All of sports owes a huge debt to 38pitches.”

38pitches is reportedly mulling over which computer it will choose to have on its plaque, debating between the Dell laptop Schilling first initiated the blog with and used for the whole 2007 season, the Macintosh desktop Schilling used for 10 months in 2008, or its most recent stay, the Alienware desktop Schilling purchased earlier this year.

“I’d go with the Dell,” commented ESPN analyst Peter Gammons. “Those were some magical times: the initiation, promises of a title, the obsessive campaigning for stem-cell research, over 800 mentions of his Lord and Savior, just phenomenal work on that PC.”

38pitches has not yet decided whether it plans to donate any blog-related memorabilia to the museum, but has reportedly already finished its acceptance speech, a meme-filled tribute to Schilling, the Red Sox family, and “teh interwebs.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!