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Typo caused Furcal to sign three-year, $30 deal

Furcal is confused and upset over his contract.

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LOS ANGELES, CA — A month after signing his new free agent deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers, Rafael Furcal has made a startling and troubling discovery.

“I finally got my contract framed and up on the wall for this party I was having over the weekend,” Furcal told SSNN. “I thought it was gonna be great, but my buddy Jesus who’s a lawyer was checking it out, and I guess there’s some sort of typo where I thought it said $30 million but it just says $30.”

Furcal says he immediately got in touch with the Dodgers, who were as surprised as he was. Unfortunately, there does not appear to be any recourse for the shortstop.

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“I’ll tell you one thing – my agent is fucking fired,” said an angry Furcal. “The whole reason we played the Braves for fools was to get a little extra scrilla from the Dodgers, and now I’m getting six dollars and fifty cents for the whole 2009 season? Not cool, man. Not cool at all.”

Furcal’s agent, Paul Kinzer, cannot figure out how such a blatant error could have been made.

“It’s a mystery to me, honestly. I sent the contract through the normal paces, it got checked and re-checked,” Kinzer assured SSNN. “I guess we were just in a little bit of a hurry, since we had the whole thing where we were lying to the Braves at the same time we were negotiating the deal. Maybe everyone was just so focused on pulling the wool over Atlanta’s eyes that we overlooked some major issues with the Los Angeles deal.”

Dodgers GM Ned Coletti insisted that there was no deliberate deception in the Furcal contract negotiations, and that the first he heard of “any discrepancy, minor or otherwise,” was when Furcal called his office in a fury.

“Clearly I understand Rafael’s concerns, and I assure you – as I did him – that we would never do something like this on purpose,” Coletti said. “But the thing is, we have a potential all-star starting shortstop under contract for the next three years for a total of only $30. At this point, I’m not sure there’s a whole heck of a lot we can do for him; I mean, he signed the contract.

“It wouldn’t be very good business on our part to tear up that sweetheart of a deal, now would it?”

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Posted on January 20th, 2009

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