Sheets using Rosetta Stone to learn Spanish in hopes of being signed by Minaya

NEW YORK — Citing that “el saber de otra lengua es un cualidad de lanzadores muy buenos,” Ben Sheets announced today he is desperately trying to learn Spanish in hopes of being signed by Omar Minaya.

Sheets has, according to SSNN sources, purchased Rosetta Stone’s Spanish I CD-Rom and accompanying audio books, and is busy learning Spanish in hopes of catching the eye of Minaya. Sheets says his Spanish is developing, though right now he says it’s more like Spanglish.

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“Pienso que ser un miembro del New York Mets es la cosa mas buena en todo el mundo,” Sheets told SSNN. “Pienso que vamos a ganar muchos World Series Championshipones en los anos que vienen.”

Minaya, for his part, was unimpressed.

“It’s not Ben’s Spanish-speaking ability that interests me,” Minaya said. “I’m interested in Ben for other reasons. I mean, look. Here’s a pitcher who is not getting any younger, who deals with severe arm injuries on an almost annual basis, who has never fully reached his potential for an extended period of time and could likely end up being a high-priced bust signing. Those elements are all more interesting to me than his Spanish.”

Minaya did say, however, that the effort Sheets was putting in was well received.

“I think it’s great that he’s learning the language, trying to become a better potential teammate for guys like David Wright and especially his catcher, Brian Schneider,” Minaya said. “That’s a great thing. But we’re the Mets, so we’re pretty much only concerned with how much we’re going to be able to pay him, and whether or not he’s going to be the bane of our existence for the next several years.”

Sheets said he’s going to come to New York with a real understanding of the nuances of the culture, including many of the skills that he’ll need to get around the city.

“Miguel es muy guapo,” Sheets said. “Donde esta el bano? Me gusta cerveza!”

Special thanks to @jasoncollette for the headline idea.