Obama bets stimulus plan on Super Bowl

WASHINGTON, DC — President and number one sports fan Barack Obama has bet the future of the trillion dollar economic stimulus plan on the outcome of this weekend’s Super Bowl between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals.

“John McCain and I have a wager,” Obama said. “If the Steelers win, I get the Republican support on the stimulus package. If the Cards win, then the bill dies. I like my chances.”

Politicians have routinely made small wagers on big games, often betting food baskets or other sorts of products reflective of their hometowns. However, in recent years, the level of the wagers has increased significantly. This is the second largest wager ever on a sporting event.

“The largest ever politician’s wager was in early 2003,” said gambling historian Rocco “Rocky” DeMartino, “when President Bush bet the Iraq war on the outcome of a Golden State Warriors game. Amazingly, knowing that the Warriors would beat the Magic on the road as 12-point underdogs was one of the nly things he really got right during his presidency.

“Normally, gamblers will tell you not to bet the farm on one game,” DeMartino said. “But, I guess if you can ‘Bush it,’ you might as well. I heard that he offered Congress double-or-nothing with Iran, but they turned him down. Thank God.”

Cardinals QB Kurt Warner said he’s glad to have the support of his state’s senior U.S. Senator.

“I always say that God is my Senator,” Warner said. “But John McCain’s support will be helpful as well. Listen, if we can kill wasteful spending and hoist the Lombardi Trophy at the same time, well … Hells Bells.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!