Cuban uses blog to challenge J.R. Smith to steel cage match

DALLAS, TX — Days after being assessed a $25,000 fine for improper interaction with an opposing player, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is pushing the envelope again – this time by using his widely-read blog to challenge said player (J.R. Smith of the Denver Nuggets) to a steel cage wrestling match.

“I saw you, J.R. – I saw you take a cheap shot at my guy Antoine Wright, and that kind of aggression will not stand around here,” Cuban said in a Sunday morning post at blogmaverick.com. “If you like taking cheap shots, I’ll take you to a place where that sort of thing is encouraged… the steel cage of death!“

The conflict between Cuban and Smith stems from a late first-half play in a January 13 matchup between Cuban’s Mavericks and Smith’s Nuggets. As the clock expired on the half, Smith appeared to throw an elbow towards the unknowing face of Wright, enraging Cuban despite whiffing completely.

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“To be honest, I didn’t feel a thing. I don’t think I even would have known he tried to hit me if Mark hadn’t run out on the court and started screaming at him,” Wright told SSNN. “I mean, it’s cool to have the owner’s support and everything, but at a certain point it starts to feel like he’s that overprotective father in the stands at a fifth-grade basketball game. Like, ‘Hey dude, you can’t just come out of the stands and start yelling at people.’

“Seriously though, it’s good to know he’s got my back in a fight. People don’t like to mess with crazy ass motherfuckers, and Cuban is definitely that. You’re afraid he might just lose it and bite you or something.”

When reached for comment, Smith proved not to be intimidated by Cuban’s apparent insanity. In fact, he said he would welcome a chance to duke it out with the billionaire.

“He wants to fight, for real?” an incredulous Smith asked. “Shit, man – I’ll go anytime. Steel cage, concrete sidewalk, wherever. I’m not afraid of the chunky old white boy from Dancing with the Stars. If he wants, he can bring his dance partner along as a tag team.”

Though Smith does have several inches and an immeasurable fitness advantage over the 50-year-old entrepreneur, Cuban insists he will not back down. And to his credit, a number of fight experts are giving him an edge in the proposed bout.

“In an NBA-style fight, I would go with J.R., hands down,” said NBA fighting expert Ron Artest. “He’s got the reach, which is essentially what it comes down to when you just take a couple big swings and then run down the court so your teammates can hold you back.

“But in a steel cage match? Where you can’t escape? Something tells me after those first couple punches, Cuban would scratch his eyes out, or tear his nuts off, or maybe eat his children. He’s definitely good for an ear bite. The NBA might fine him, but I think he’s proven he’s immune to that.”