CBS decision to ring in Obama presidency with “One Shining Moment” montage proves controversial

NEW YORK CITY, NY — After spending most of the day Tuesday covering the inauguration of new US President Barack Obama, CBS television used the evening and all night to repeatedly air a montage featuring footage of Obama set to “One Shining Moment,” the NCAA Tournament theme song.

“It wasn’t that we equated Obama to a college basketball team or anything,” said CBS Corporation President Leslie Moonves. “It’s just that it’s such an inspiring tune, and it was an inspiring moment. One shining moment, if you will.”

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Much to the surprise of Moonves and other CBS executives, the decision to use that particular tune has drawn criticism from virtually every corner.

“Why’s it gotta be a basketball song for the brother, huh?” asked an enraged Jessie Jackson. “And half the footage in the montage was of the man playing basketball. Does CBS even realize that his presidential duties do not actually involve playing basketball or any other sport at all? I’m disgusted by the implicit racial overtones of that piece.”

The college basketball world appears to be equally put off by the decision, fearing that Obama’s montage essentially steals their thunder.

“It’s like the guy is trying to take everything from me,” said Craig Robinson, Oregon State head basketball coach and brother of Barack’s wife Michelle. “First it’s my sister, then it’s the song that everyone in my sport aspires to hear at the end of their season. I’m supposed to be the basketball guy, not him.”

Even players took notice of what one CBS executive called “a decision made with very little forethought,” that “admittedly could come back to haunt us.”

“I have every intention of winning the NCAA Championship this year, and I was really looking forward to my one shining moment,” said UNC Tarheels star forward Tyler Hansbrough. “But now it’s cheapened, because how can my shining moment possibly be as shining as Barack freakin’ Obama? I mean, they guy is the first minority head of state in the greatest country in the world, and I’m just a guy who’s probably not gonna make it in the NBA.

“All I had was One Shining Moment; and now CBS has taken that from me. Thanks, Leslie Moonves, you racist bastard.”