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Bush convenes Congress to figure out who he should start between LT2, Ronnie Brown, and Frank Gore

WASHINGTON, DC -- President George W. Bush made an extremely unorthodox and frankly unprecedented move in the annals of American history Saturday, calling both houses of Congress together for an [continue reading...]

Posted on October 4th, 2008

Cubs infielders mad at Zambrano for inducing so many groundballs

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN CHICAGO AND LOS ANGELES -- As the Chicago Cubs traveled toward Los Angeles down two games to none against the Los Angeles Dodgers, several of the Cubs' infielders [continue reading...]

Posted on October 3rd, 2008

Colts would like Peyton Manning to be a little more folksy, like Sarah Palin

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- The Indianapolis Colts, less than two years removed from a Super Bowl title, have made an unusual request to quarterback Peyton Manning. "Yes, we did make a request [continue reading...]

Posted on October 3rd, 2008

Sarah Palin told Travis Henry that selling cocaine was legal

BILLINGS, MT -- Embattled former Denver Broncos running back, facing drug trafficking charges from the federal government, has an unusual excuse for his behavior. According to Henry, Republican vice presidential [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2008

Philadelphia fan commits ritual suicide after dominant start by Cole Hamels

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Cole Hamels dominated the Brewers for eight innings yesterday, propelling the Phillies to a 1-0 lead in their best-of-five playoff series, and tragically ending the life of [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2008

Angry Al Davis to run for President

OAKLAND, CA—Unsatisfied with running an NFL franchise and filled with contempt for the Washington establishment, and to a larger degree the human race in general, controversial football executive Al Davis [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2008

Jeter preparing for October by buying tickets online

NEW YORK -- Derek Jeter is ready for October, the month that he normally spends very much involved with the MLB Playoffs. "This year, October is a little different for me," [continue reading...]

Posted on October 1st, 2008

Bush leaving work early to watch MLB playoffs

WASHINGTON, DC -- U.S. President George W. Bush announced that he's finishing work at 3:00 pm eastern time today, in plenty of time to get over to the residence and [continue reading...]

Posted on October 1st, 2008

Carlos Zambrano tells teammates he would’ve voted against bailout plan

CHICAGO - Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano informed teammates Tuesday at practice that he "totally would've voted against the bailout" that failed to pass the House of Representatives on Monday. "Carlos came [continue reading...]

Posted on October 1st, 2008

Gardenhire wants to go double or nothing; Guillen reluctant

CHICAGO, IL -- An hour after the Chicago White Sox beat the Minnesota Twins in a one-game playoff, Ozzie Guillen received an unusual phone call from Twins manager Ron Gardenhire. "Yeah, [continue reading...]

Posted on September 30th, 2008

Lane Kiffin changes Facebook relationship status to “It’s complicated with Al Davis”

OAKLAND, CA -- Lane Kiffin's 232 friends were treated Tuesday to an unexpected news alert Monday, as Kiffin changed his Facebook relationship status to "It's complicated with Al Davis." "I just [continue reading...]

Posted on September 30th, 2008

Detroit Shock wins third consecutive WNBA title, according to eyewitness account

DETROIT, MI—The WNBA, long believed to have gone the way of the dodo and the XFL, has been the subject of intense underground rumors of late, specifically concerning the legendary [continue reading...]

Posted on September 30th, 2008

Brewers have Sabathia throw a 180-pitch side session Tuesday

MILWAUKEE -- A "bored" Milwaukee Brewers team had ace pitcher CC Sabathia throw a 180-pitch side session Tuesday to help pass some time, a day before the team takes on [continue reading...]

Posted on September 30th, 2008

Delmon Young apparently thinks today’s game decides the World Series championship

CHICAGO -- An apparently confused Delmon Young arrived at U.S. Cellular Field convinced that today's one-game playoff between the White Sox and the Twins will decide the 2008 Major League [continue reading...]

Posted on September 30th, 2008


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