Obama doesn’t really have an issue with the way the Yankees spend money

HONOLULU, OAHU, HI — President-elect and extreme sports fan Barack Obama is always willing to offer an opinion as to how the sports world can improve itself.

However, when reached in Hawaii this week by SSNN, Obama surprised everyone with his latest view. SSNN had contacted Obama to discuss a matter on which most agree — that the New York Yankees spend too much money and disrupt the reasonable balance of power in baseball. Surpisingly, Obama disagreed with the general public.

“I don’t see any real problem with what they’re doing,” Obama said. “Is it illegal to so grossly outspend your opponents that it makes a mockery of the competition? If so, then wouldn’t you hear some complaints about me having bought the presidency, since I spent about ten times as much as John McCain? You don’t hear anything like that, do you?”

Actually, there are a lot of complaints about that, as many of Obama’s critics contend that he spent his way to the presidency.

“To me, money is for three things — winning presidential elections, buying World Series titles, and of course, redistributing hope to the disenfranchised and poor,” Obama said. “So what the Yankees are doing is totally in line with my beliefs. Giving Mark Teixeira $180 million is no different than, say, buying a half-hour infomercial on the four major networks. Nobody had a problem with that, right?”

Reached for comment, Senator John McCain said Obama’s latest views explained a lot.

“Well, for the last two years, everytime he sends me an email, he starts it off with ‘Dear Milwaukee Brewers LOL,’” McCain said. “So that at least explains that. I just hope that baseball and the American people both ultimately realize that something earned on a level-playing field is worth more than something purchased.”

“Ha ha, never!!” shouted Obama, who was sitting on a giant pile of gold coins and fanning himself with a sheaf of $100 bills. “They can try and control us. They can try and impose luxury taxes. But the only tax I’m going to pay is eight years of kicking it at the White House with the World Champion New York Yankees. Viva Sabathia!”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!