McCain throws red challenge flag on election

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nearly a month and a half after the final results were tallied, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain has thrown his red challenge flag on the 2008 Election.

“After watching this weekend’s football games, I am quite convinced that simply reviewing a play can lead to a reversal of literally any call – correct or not, indisputable evidence or not, I now know it is always possible to have a call overturned,” McCain told the surprised gathering of college and high school journalists who showed up for his press conference. “So I basically just said, ‘Fuck it,’ you know? I mean, there’s no point taking my challenge flag home with me to one of my ten or twelve houses.”

Though President-Elect Barack Obama refused to comment on the record regarding McCain’s challenge, sources within his administration have indicated that though they are “not at all worried” about the election being overturned upon review.

“Seriously, we murdered the guy,” said one high level Obama staffer who spoke with SSNN on condition of anonymity. “The only thing he’ll get out of watching the replay is more heartache, because we beat that old bastard like a rented mule. Actually, could you not print that last part?”

Despite the lack of concern from the Obama camp, a growing group of Democrats hopes to squash the challenge before the election can be reviewed.

“It’s not that we’re concerned about the call, it’s just that we don’t want to set a bad precedent here,” said visibly angry Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “It’s totally unreasonable for Mr. McCain to be throwing his challenge flag this late after the election. We believe he gave up his ability to challenge when he conceded President-Elect Obama’s victory.”

Despite the Speaker’s loudmouthed objections, it appears as though the challenge will be accepted and the election will, in fact, be reviewed.

“The rules are clear on this point – until another play is run, a challenge can be made. As far as I can see, the next play isn’t until January 20, so John is well within his rights,” Supreme Court Justice and noted fascist Antonin Scalia. “For what it’s worth, we intend to review this election. As I understand it, John’s particular objection is that Mr. Obama is ’surprisingly clean and well-spoken,’ and we will certainly look into that.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!