Lebron James furious about all these damn emails from David Plouffe and Barack Obama

CLEVELAND, OH — Lebron James checks his email about three times a day, and he’s getting pretty sick of seeing the words “Plouffe” and “Obama” every time.

“I donated $25 to the campaign,” James said. “One time, you know, so I could tell my kids I was a part of history. And we won, and it was awesome, so I feel good that my $25 was useful. And I thought that was it.”

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However, James was very wrong, as he’s continued to receive emails from both Barack Obama and his campaign manager David Plouffe pretty consistently.

“One time,” James said. “One time I donate 25 bucks, and now once a week these dudes are emailing me telling who they are picking for cabinet positions and shit. Like I give a damn about the Secretary of Education — I didn’t even go to college!”

James said he is touched by Obama’s commitment but he’s not swayed.

“I mean, it’s flattering that they think I am important enough to email with this stuff,” James said, “but I just don’t care. To be honest, I didn’t even realize that this many people work for the President.”

James said his frustration is increasing to the point where he’s afraid he’s going to do something drastic if Obama doesn’t curtail the emails a bit.

“You know how Barack is into his three-word slogans: ‘Yes we can,’ ‘Yes we did,’ etc.?” asked James. “Well, I got three words for you, Mr. Obama: “un sub scribe.”