Johnson proposes 24/7 of himself preparing to battle his own demons

KANSAS CITY, MO — On the heels of the latest news in his seemingly neverending saga of legal issues, Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson told SSNN that he is in negotiations with HBO Original Entertainment to begin shooting a new version of the network’s popular 24/7 show which will feature the highly-paid rusher readying himself for a fight with his deep-seeded personal issues.

Johnson’s latest legal issues stem from an October 10 incident at Club Blonde in Kansas City, where he allegedly spit a drink in a woman’s face and threatened to kill her boyfriend. He filed a countersuit accusing the woman on December 16, but has also expressed remorse for his behavior.

“Listen, I’ve already admitted that I have a problem — clearly I like to punch people on occasion,” admitted Johnson, who has now been accused of attacking a woman on four separate occasions in the past five years. “Especially women, and then, especially defenseless, petite women. But it’s something I plan to face up to and take on, and getting ready for that fight is gonna be some of the hardest work I’ve done in years. So I figured, hey, this is something that people will probably want to watch.”

HBO appears to agree, though a deal with Johnson would mark somewhat of a departure from pattern established in the first four 24/7 series. Each has followed boxers training for a major bout: Oscar De La Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather, Mayweather vs. Ricky Hatton, Joe Calzaghe vs. Roy Jones, Jr. and De La Hoya vs. Manny Pacquiao.

“Obviously this would be a change of pace, but after Oscar ruined that fight with Pacquiao by bitching out, we decided maybe boxing is not what we should be focused on,” said a high-ranking HBO official who confirmed negotiations with Johnson on condition of anonymity. “When Mr. Johnson came to us with this idea, we decided to take a serious look at it. There’s no doubt the fight will be a good one.

“Look at the situation — LJ’s demons are a bastard, you know? This isn’t going to be some half-assed schoolyard tussle. He’s gonna have to get in the steel cage with his problems and fight to the freaking death, man. No shit.”

Members of Johnson’s inner circle are glad to see him make the decision to face off with his off-field struggles, and think that the extra attention from the 24/7 audience could give him the extra motivation he needs to slaughter the skeletons in his closet once and for all.

“I’ve watched Larry battle his demons on and off for years, it just never seemed like he made the commitment to really train for the fight,” one confidant of the running back said. “Obviously, that’s cost him. But we all know how tough LJ can be when he puts his mind to something and trains hard, and he’s the kind of guy that likes to put on a show.

“I really think this TV show would be the best thing not only for Larry but for the female population of the Kansas City metropolitan area. I mean, that’s women from two states we’ll be protecting — I’d say it’s well worth it.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!