Hampton injures himself while signing contract

HOUSTON, TX — Mike Hampton crumbled to the ground in pain Monday while signing a contract with the Houston Astros.

“Hammy had just finished signing his name to the multi-year, guaranteed contract, and I guess he felt some sort of pain in his arm,” said Astros GM Ed Wade.

“I haven’t felt pain like that ever in my life,” Hampton said. “Well, at least not since the end of the baseball season. But God, did it hurt.”

Hampton will undergo surgery and is likely to miss at least the first half of 2009.

“It’s a shame, I would love to be out there, helping the team,” Hampton said. “But I know my body, and when it tells me something, I have to respect it. After all, I have a career to think about.”

The exact nature of the injury is not known, though Hampton said it was “probably my back.”

“Like I said, I am not sure what it is yet,” Hampton said. “I think it will probably end up being either my back or shoulder, but you never know. Sometimes when I get into that MRI tube, crazy things happen. We’ll just have to wait and be surprised.”

Hampton thinks the Astros should look at the MRI report as a fun thing.

“Not knowing what’s wrong and then getting to find out in a big rush, a huge surprise, it’s so fun,” Hampton said. “Astros fans should think of it like Christmas, just a few weeks early.”

Special thanks to morelandj for the headline idea.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!