2008 Year in Review, #2: Bob Costas is so fucking stoked right now that you have no idea

BEIJING, CHINA — Bob Costas is so goddamn excited right now that he’s fucking freaking out, dude.

“I’m fuckin’ flippin’ my shit here, B,” Costas told SSNN. “I mean I’m really going nutso. I’ve had half a hard-on for like two weeks, and now that the Olympics is basically here, I feel like I’m gonna bust a nut all over your face or something. And I haven’t actually busted a nut on someone’s face in almost two years – I mean, I’m really fucking stoked.”

Costas, who has been waiting somewhat impatiently for more than two years for the Olympics to return, has been studying Chinese culture and history, as well as refreshing himself on all the stories of the Olympians and all of that other shit that really gets him off.

“Four fucking years since the last Summer Games, dude,” Costas said. “People say it goes by quickly, but those fuckers are lying, man. They’re fucking blowing smoke up your ass. It seems like you’re fucking burning your ass off in hell as you’re waiting for the fucking Games to come back. It’s fucking purgatory, but it’s over now, and I’m pizzumped, bitch.”

Costas will be anchoring the Olympics for NBC for the seventh time, and it’s safe to say that this is the most exciting thing he gets to do at this stage of his career.

“Holy fuck, I just want the Opening Ceremony to get going, man. I mean, it’s gonna be off the motherfucking chains, and I’m so fucking excited that you can’t even fucking comprehend, bro. You cannot even compre-motherfucking-hend!”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!