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News Item

Yankees fax offer to Sabathia who promptly eats it

NEW YORK — The New York Yankees confirmed today that they have sent a contract offer to lefty CC Sabathia, but that unfortunately the pitcher devoured the fax. “It’s no big deal,” said Yanks GM Brian Cashman.

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“We’ll just send over a new offer. Apparently sometimes when CC gets excited, he just eats stuff. Last week I guess he had some girl over and he got all excited and just ate her. I mean, he devoured her whole, you perverts.” Cashman said the Yankees will keep faxing offers but will not email them, lest Sabathia eat a BlackBerry or computer and thus fail his physical.

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