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Stern attributes dress code to increase in quality of crime

NEW YORK, NY — When David Stern institutes the controversial NBA dress code a couple seasons ago, he never thought it would work this fast. “It’s only been a couple of years, and already we’re seeing. Rise in white collar crime in the NBA,” Stern beamed. “First the referee betting scandal, and now insider trading! I am over the moon.”

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Stern said that the correlation is obvious — when you dress for success, you are successful. Now, I hope these guys who are getting busted for pot and shooting people up in parking lots realize there is so much more out there for them, if they just apply themselves.”

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