Penn State drops to tenth in the BCS standings after crappy practice

STATE COLLEGE, PA — A bad practice couldn’t have come at a worse time for Penn State.

Following a bye week in which they lost a spot in the BCS standings and put in jeopardy their chances of playing in the national championship game, Penn State fell to tenth in the BCS standings after an awful Thursday afternoon practice.

“We went out there to just get a good workout before we started to go toward Iowa,” said Penn State coach Joe Paterno. “You know, just break a sweat, go through some plays, make sure we’re ready. Our guys haven’t played in two weeks, so there’s bound to be some rust.”

But things went terribly awry.

“Daryll Clark couldn’t complete any passes,” JoePa said. “Evan Royster fumbled twice in a non-contact drill. Even Jeremy Boone, our punter, was shanking kicks left and right. It was really bad. I mean, really, really bad.”

Still, JoePa wrote it off as a crummy practice and hoped that he could close the book on the bad day and move forward. Not to be.

“Apparently, some of our dudes who are on Twitter were Tweeting about the bad practice,” JoePa said. “A couple of guys also changed their facebook status. And next thing I know, I get a call saying that we’re now tenth in the BCS standings. Unheard of.”

“Two things really came out of today’s practice,” said BCS compiler Devin McGregor. “First, JoePa knows an awful lot about social networking sites, which is surprising for a 137-year-old man. Second, Penn State is clearly not that good of a team, and needs to be brought down a bit in the rankings. So we took care of that for them.”

Still, Paterno is furious.

“I’m going to post a blog about what sort of bullshit the BCS is,” Paterno said. “I am going to Digg it and Stumble it and hopefully, just hopefully, a bunch of people will take notice, and maybe we’ll go up a bit in the next ratings.”

No chance, says McGregor.

“There’s only two ways that Penn State can move up in the rankings,” he said. “First, they can win a game against a good team, which seems impossible, since they don’t play any good teams. Second, they can be really nice people, do their homework, brush their teeth, stay out of trouble, and maybe we’ll consider bumping them up a bit.”

Still, however, given the recent legal troubles, Paterno is hoping for option one.

“Who knows?” Paterno said. “I wish Iowa had some more street cred. I called them and asked them if they will schedule three or four games on Friday and beat the crap out of Texas, Texas Tech, Georgia, and USC, back-to-back-to-back-to-back. You know, so that when we wax them, it actually means something.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!