Madsen seen checking out a Playboy magazine at Los Angeles Public Library

LOS ANGELES, CA — T-Wolves and former Lakers backup center Mark Madsen is facing a lot of criticism today after a passerby noticed him in the Los Angeles Public Library, checking out a Playboy magazine from the clerk at the periodicals stand.

“This is generally unbecoming behavior for a professional athlete, and especially for a Minnesota Timberwolf,” said T-Wolves owner Glen Taylor. “I’m not sure what Mark was thinking, but I hope in the future he uses a bit more discretion.”

Reached for comment late Thursday by SSNN, Madsen reported that he was “just reading the Playboy for the articles.” When informed by SSNN staff that this is the same excuse that every man gives his wife when she busts him reading Playboy, Madsen stated. “No, seriously. There was a really interesting and scathing critique of the Bush
administration’s policies on the nation’s housing and mortgage crisis in the Forum section. I went to Stanford, bro.”

According to a report from the attendant on duty at the circulation desk, he had no idea who Madsen was.

“All I know is that about 11:30 am today, some seven-foot-tall white dude comes up and asks me if he can see the Ashley Harkleroad issue of Playboy,” said Max Davidson, 19, who volunteers at the library on Thursdays. “He said it was the September issue, but he was wrong, it was the August, and I told him so, and I asked him for his library card, and it said ‘Mark Madsen.’ That was it, that was the end of it, or so I thought.”

Madsen went and sat at a nearby table when he was spotted by a librarygoer who screamed, “You’re Mark Madsen! Oh my god, and you are reading Playboy!”

“It was a little weird,” Davidson said. “To be honest, I had no idea that he was a basketball player. We’ve had NBA players in here all the time checking out Playboys, but most often they’re on the Lakers, so I recognize them. I can tell you first hand that A.C. Green loves Playboy, though that should come as no surprise.”

According to some reporting by SSNN, many professional athletes are Playboy devotees. Alex Rodriguez has a subscription to the ‘Playboy mail-order catalog,’ as he calls it, and Brook and Robin Lopez have been stealing their dad’s issues for the last twelve years. Perhaps the most interesting case is Michael Strahan, who also is devoted to reading Playboy at the library, since his wife took a lot of his money and other possessions in their recent divorce, including his subscription to the magazine.

There is no word as to what punishment, if any, will befall Madsen. However, one expert on professional athlete chicanery thinks this entire issue is much ado about nothing.

“Wait, you’re still talking about the goofy dude and his Playboy?” asked Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones. “Still? Seriously? Nobody even got shot!”

Jones said there’s a certain standard of decorum to which professional athletes should aspire, and that Madsen is not meeting the charge.

“Look, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things,” Jones said. “If you want a Playboy, fine. But don’t check it out at the library! That’s low-rent, man. Bush league. You gotta do what I do and steal it from a gas station.”

Special thanks to @ronmexicocity, @kimsnotebook , @markkennedysem, @theguyreport , @vigourtortoise , @robtraut , @AdamMackWright , @iam_spartacus , @ExtraP, @imjustshane, @richeddy and @jon_carroll for participating in the piece.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!