God actually went to bed before Kurt Warner thanked him in post-game interview

PHOENIX, AZ, and HEAVEN — A red-faced God apologized to Kurt Warner today after revealing that indeed he had already shut off his television set and gone to bed before receiving thanks from Warner following the Cardinals 29-24 victory over the San Francisco 49ers on Monday night.

“I’m embarrassed to say that I’d actually shut off my television and headed to bed,” God told assembled media during his normal Tuesday morning press conference. “So if you see Kurt, please tell him ‘My bad,’ and that I thank him for his comments about me.”

Warner said he was disappointed to hear that God didn’t stay up to hear his thanks, but that he forgives God, as God would forgive him.

“You know, obviously, you’d love to have your thanks be heard,” Warner said. “I mean, I was on the TV no less than two minutes after the game ended. But still, sometimes you just have to go with what you get, and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to be the bigger man on this one. So, thanks, God, for your apology. I accept.”

God, for his part, was very clear that it wasn’t really an apology, but rather a simple acknowledgment that Warner’s comments would have been a nice thing to hear.

“Look, I’m God,” God said. “I’ve got a lot of stuff going on these days, I’m not sure if you heard. Honestly, I probably shouldn’t even be taking three and a half hours out of my schedule to watch Monday Night Football anyway. I always tell myself that I’m going to catch up on answering some old prayers during the game, but it never happens. Normally I just end up zoning out and listening to the sweet tones of Mike Tirico’s voice, just like everyone else.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!