Former Vick dog busted for public urination

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA — As Michael Vick returned to Virginia for another hearing regarding his dog-fighting exploits, it seems the behavioral indiscretions exhibited by Vick are extending themselves to pretty much everyone and everything around him.

While Vick and some of his “business” associates are currently serving time in federal prison, it seems that even the former dogs that were used against their will in organized fights are finding themselves on the wrong side of reasonable behavior.

Misty, a nine-year old pit bull terrier, was spotted urinating in public yesterday by neighbors in the Charlottesville community to which she’s been placed.

“These problems that are associated with Vick and his entourage have clearly infected everyone around them,” said David Greene, a psychologist at George Mason University in Arlington, Va. “This dog was brazenly urinating in public, and all over a city-owned fire hydrant, no less. It’s not unusual for one person’s criminal behavior to extend itself to others around themselves, but the behavior of Misty is ridiculous, disturbing, and uncalled for.”

The incident occurred Thursday night, when Jed Martin, 29, who is Misty’s new owner, took the pup out for a walk for the first time.

“We just went to the pound and picked up Misty, who was allegedly ‘completely rehabilitated,’” Martin said. “So come about 10 pm on Thursday, the wife and I thought she might like to go for a little walk, get some fresh air, that sort of thing. We barely got outside more than 20 feet before the dog is pissing all over the place. In front of kids and everything! It was awful and extremely embarrassing.”

A local psychiatrist indicated that this sort of behavior on the part of Misty is natural in times of extreme negative influence.

“Oftentimes dogs that are owned by awfully-behaved people take on some very bad characteristics,” said Dr. Santina Menendez, of Charlottesville Psychiatric. “Misty is clearly exhibiting some of the bad behavior that she picked up. I know it’s no consolation to the Martins, but her behavior is actually quite normal for a dog that’s been through this sort of trauma. As a matter of fact, I have even seen traumatized dogs go so far as to defecate in public and smell other dogs in the anal region. I know, I know, it’s gross — but like I said, clearly they learned it from somewhere.”

It’s not clear if Vick, who is scheduled to be released from prison late next year, is exhibiting any of these same characteristics.

“I’m honestly not sure if Mr. Vick is showing any of these characteristics,” Dr. Menendez said. “They don’t necessarily need to be the same characteristics; I mean, Mr. Vick has shown that he can behave badly in any number of fashions. It doesn’t necessarily need to be sniffing another person’s butt. Although I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that dude has taken a shit outside on the ground in the last six weeks.”

Special thanks to joshlos for the headline idea.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!