Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama

PHOENIX, AZ — John McCain received an unexpected call of support tonight, as Brett Favre announced that he’d phoned the Presidential candidate with some secret information about how to go about beating Barack Obama.

“I just gave my old friend John McCain a call,” Favre said. “I told him, ‘Here’s what you’re going to do,’ and then I laid out an 18-point plan that would be very useful for McCain if he wants to beat Barack Obama in the election.”

Favre was in a lot of hot water recently after reports surfaced that he’d contacted Matt Millen of the Detroit Lions and given him information about how to defeat the Green Bay Packers in a recent NFL game. At the time, Favre maintained he’d done nothing wrong, giving away only simple information in a relatively innocuous fashion.

McCain was touched by the call, but wasn’t sure that at this late stage it will be the game-changing breakthrough that he’s looking for.

“A lot of the advice was kind of stupid,” McCain said. “For example, point number three was, ‘Receive more votes than Obama.’ Point number five was, ‘Represent yourself as a maverick.’ Point number seven was ‘Under no circumstances should you select Sarah Palin as your VP candidate.’ I was like, ‘Look, Brett, all great ideas, but your timing is a little bit off.’”

McCain said that Favre’s suggestions were interesting from the perspective of Favre’s very successful football career, but may not have been exactly what the doctor ordered in a presidential election.

“Some of his suggestions were weird,” McCain said. “For example, he said I should always throw into double coverage, even off-balance. He also said there’s no such thing as a bad interception. I think he was using those points as metaphors, as a way to encourage me to keep trying. So that’s exactly what I’ll do.”

“Nope, it wasn’t a metaphor,” Favre said. “Wasn’t a metaphor at all. See, the problem is, I promised him 18 points for the political race, but I could only think of three. So I just decided to tell him some stuff about how I play football. I sure hope it helped.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!