Bush tells Obama which channel ESPN is at the White House

WASHINGTON, DC — President-elect Barack Obama and his good bride Michelle took to the White House on Monday, for meetings with President George W. Bush and first lady Laura Bush, respectively.

While the first ladies discussed life in the White House, including raising children and choosing important issues, Bush and Obama retired to the Oval Office where they discussed more serious matters.

“It was pretty interesting,” Obama said. “First of all, the President told me that ESPN was channel 43 on the White House TVs, and that ESPN2 was channel 44. And that FoxSports was channel 46. I asked him which channel NBC was and he said he wasn’t allowed to watch the mainstream liberal elite media, but that if there was a football game or something like that on, one of the aides would gladly put it on the screen. So that was really useful information; in my previous life, if there was a game on, I’d have to find the channel myself.”

Bush then told Obama that he had an important state secret to tell him.

“I leaned over and I told Barack the most interesting thing that I’ve learned since I was President,” Bush said. “Which is that you can get Pay-Per-View UFC fights for free. I spent my first six months figuring out how to jimmy the cable lines so it would work, but I finally got it. I go, ‘Barack, you look like an Anderson Silva fan, you’ll love this.’ And you know what? He did.”

Obama verified the story.

“Michelle will be very happy to know that we will save approximately $480 a year in the White House by stealing mixed martial arts pay-per-views instead of having to pay for them,” Obama said. “What can I say? I love me some Chuck Liddell.”

Still, although the visit was an overall success, Obama was a little surprised at what Bush wanted to talk about.

“He didn’t bring up the economy, foreign relations, health care, or either of the two wars that we are in,” Obama said. “Which was surprising, because I figure he’d want to tell me some thoughts about those. But he didn’t. Instead, though, he did show me a really cool way to use a glass as a hole to practice your putting in the Oval Office, and how you can use three chairs to make a platform to do full extension pushups. So it was really more about practical knowledge than theoretical stuff.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!