After studying rule book for entire second half, McNabb an expert on “free kicks”

BALTIMORE, MD — Yesterday was not the best day of Donovan McNabb’s career, as he was benched for the second half of the Eagles’ 36-7 thrashing at the hands of the Baltimore Ravens.

“Coach came up to me, and he handed me the rule book, and he said, ‘Why don’t you spend the second half reading this?’” McNabb told SSNN. “So I did. That’s actually what I had underneath that giant parka, was the NFL rule book. That thing is heavy, yo!”

McNabb, who last week admitted that he did not know NFL games could end in ties when the Eagles and Bengals played to a 13-13 deadlock, said that yesterday he was determined to learn whatever he could about the game while Kevin Kolb took the field.

“I’m a team player, and I really wanted to demonstrate that, ‘Hey, you can bench me, but I’m still going to try and make my time productive.’”

McNabb said it paid off almost immmediately, when the Eagles were getting ready to leave for home.

“After the game, we all took showers and did some interviews, and then we’re in the locker room, waiting for the bus, and we’re watching the Giants-Cardinals game, and all of a sudden, Neil Rackers is lining up for what’s called a free kick. All these dudes on the team — including one Mr. Kevin Kolb, I might add — were like, ‘What’s that? What the hell is going on?’ So I stepped in and explained the rule.”

McNabb’s knowledge of the rule makes him one of seven Americans who knew the rule, including the referee from the Cardinals-Giants game, and the Pulaski brothers of southwest Chicago, who were actually in attendance when the Bears last successfully executed a free kick, in 1968.

“A free kick is just one of the brilliant nuances of the NFL game,” McNabb said. “It’s a wonderful and strange beast, NFL football. I would be honored to get to play it again.”

Special thanks to @robtraut and @JeRuleDesigns for their help with this headline.