After embarrassing loss to Syracuse, furious Notre Dame demotes Charlie Weis to be head coach of Syracuse

SOUTH BEND, IN — A disgusted Notre Dame athletic department, reeling from one of the worst defeats in school history, struck an unusual deal in which they’ve given their head coach to the team that just defeated them.

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“We’re going to send Charlie Weis down for a bit,” said Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick. “He’s clearly not ready for a situation the caliber of Notre Dame. So we need to get him a little bit of seasoning.”

Notre Dame lost on a late touchdown pass by Cameron Dantley, son of former Golden Domer Adrian Dantley. Swarbrick said that Notre Dame was looking for a good opportunity for Weis to take over someplace, and then they realized that there was an interesting idea right in front of them.

“We looked at each other, and we had one of those weird ‘eureka’ moments, where we all just got it at the same time,” Swarbrick said. “We looked across the field and saw Greg Robinson from Syracuse, and we realized that he’s gone at the end of this year, so they’re going to need a coach. So I went over to [Syracuse AD] Daryl Gross, and I asked him if they’d be interested in having Charlie coach their team, you know, just until he got it together a little bit.”

Gross replied that he’d be happy to have such a big coach come to Syracuse, and the two quickly hashed out a deal.

“It’s really a great deal,” Gross said. “If Weis is successful as our coach, then he goes back to Notre Dame next season, and we get to go out and really market ourselves for a great coach, knowing that we just had a guy who went on to coach at Notre freaking Dame. I mean, how awesome would that be? We’d easily be able to get a guy like Ty Willingham in here, with a hook like that.”

Notre Dame is very pleased with the deal, Swarbrick said. “We feel like we really got a good situation going here. Charlie is going to learn a lot at Syracuse, and hopefully he’ll bring back some of that knowledge to South Bend. I really hope things go well for him over there. And, as for us, we’ll be fine next year too. I mean, shit, we lost to Syracuse today, can’t really get much worse, right?”

Still, Gross thought that perhaps Syracuse got the better end of the deal.

“We snuck a little special clause in there,” Gross said. “If Weis wins three or less games next season, we get to sign him to a long-term extension. Ha! Notre Dame is never getting him back!”

Special thanks to robtraut for the headline idea.