A-Rod and Madonna schedule Xmas party for the night before Jeter’s

NEW YORK, NY — Every year for the last ten, Derek Jeter has rented out the Broome Street Bar one of the last weekends before Christmas, and he has all of his Yankee teammates and friends together to celebrate the holidays.

“I just love getting everyone together,” Jeter said. “See some old friends, make some new ones. Few drinks, few laughs. It’s always a great time.”

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This year, however, a wrench has been thrown in the plan.

“I sent out my invites at the beginning of November, just like always,” Jeter said. “I chose the date of December 21, which was perfect for me. Started to get some replies and everything. Then, just yesterday, I get a card in the mail from Alex (Rodriguez) and Madonna, inviting me to their first annual ‘Bad sweaters and good food‘ holiday party. I bet you can guess when it is. That’s right, Friday, Dec 20. One day before my party.”

Jeter said he thinks the idea for a party is fine, but he wishes that they’d have been more sensitive.

“I’ve got this hideous Pierre Cardin sweater that is a lock to win the costume contest,” Jeter said. “Even so, it’s kind of bullshit that they set up their party for the night before mine, right? A lot of people who can only go to one might not come to mine, and those that do come will just end up seeing the same people two days in a row. I mean, I love Jason Giambi and all, but I don’t need to watch him get retarded on Amaretto sours two nights in a row, know what I mean?”

A-Rod said that he’s sorry about the timing of the two parties, but that he and his girlfriend are both really famous, so this was the only time it could happen.

“I think when something like this happens, you have to just be like, ‘that’s bad luck,’ and move on,” A-Rod said. “Is it my fault that I am dating a cultural icon, and that she can only do a Christmas party on the night before Jeter’s party? If Derek Jeter wants to date an icon, he should ask me to dinner.”