Zambrano to take statistics at Northwestern

CHICAGO — The Chicago Cubs’ early exit from the playoffs this year has brought with it a silver lining for at least one player.

Carlos Zambrano has announced that he will be enrolling in Elementary Statistics for Political Research, a course being offered through Northwestern University’s School of Continuing Studies, as the burly pitcher works toward a Master’s degree in public policy administration.

“I’m very excited to be able to knock out this crucial core credit,” Zambrano said. “This is going to really help move along my education and also put me in great position to understand some of the wonderful policy work that is being done these days around the world.”

Zambrano will be attending the course on Wednesday evenings at the Loop Campus of the school. He’s missed the first three weeks, but he hopes that this will not derail his chances of getting solid marks.

“The first three weeks are generally review in statistics courses, anyway,” Zambrano said. “A lot of probability, some standard deviations and the occasional mean/median/mode-type question. Pretty basic stuff. Wake me up when you get to the T-tests, you know what I mean?”

Zambrano said that shoring up his histograms was one of his goals for the offseason.

“Yeah, my histograms need a lot of work,” Zambrano said. “That, and of course my arm strength and my conditioning are the three things that I’m really working on this year.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!