Vitale so excited about the Rays that he’s just walking around yelling all the time and saying these ridiculous phrases

TAMPA BAY, FL — Dick Vitale, who has been a Tampa Bay Rays season ticket holder since the team’s move to the Tampa area, is so excited about the Rays’ success that he’s starting to act in an unruly and strange manner.

“Yeah, it’s weird,” said Joe Maddon. “He’s really happy about us being in the ALCS and hanging in there against the Red Sox. And he’s got this weird way of expressing it. He’s just walking around yelling all the time, and ending every sentence with the word ‘baby.’”

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Vitale also has apparently taken to referring to some of the Rays younger players as “diaper dandies.”

“I’ve never seen anyone so excited about anything in my life,” said B.J. Upton. “I mean, never. This guy is so excited about our success, that it’s translating over to the rest of his life. He just walks around and yells all the time right now.”

Upton is worried about Vitale’s health.

“He can’t live like this,” Upton said. “His wife is going to divorce him. He’ll never be able to get a job. He’s not going to have any friends. I mean, it’s ridiculous. He’s going to explode, I’m pretty sure, and frankly, I don’t want to stand by and watch that happen.”

Teammate Evan Longoria agreed that something needs to be done before it’s too late.

“Listen, it may already be too late,” Longoria said. “Our success has literally driven this poor guy to insanity. Check it–just yesterday, I heard him talking about how excited he is for the start of NCAA basketball. Are you kidding me? The guy has gone mad!”