Sabathia loses control; weight expected to balloon.

MILWAUKEE, WI–Fresh off his disappointing performance in the Brewers’ opening-round elimination, CC Sabathia has vanished, leaving friends and family concerned about the ace’s weight and safety.

”It’s no secret CC has been struggling with the junk [food] for a long time. He usually keeps it under control and doesn’t let it get in the way. But now that he’s missing, and given his emotional state, I have to admit I’m worried about him,” teammate Ryan Braun confided to SSNN.

One member of the Brewers organization told SSNN under condition of anonymity that Sabathia’s struggles with food abuse have been well-hidden from the public. ”We were in Los Angeles one time and CC didn’t show up to the park on time. We phoned his hotel room, but there was no answer. When we broke down the door, CC was lying unconscious, his clothes completely ruined by grease stains, there was soda leaking out of his mouth, it wasn’t pretty. Incredibly, he was still able to pitch eight innings and give up only three hits.”

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Following his poor performance in game two of the series, in which he gave up 5 runs in 3 2/3 innings, no one has denied that CC appeared to be rather depressed. Following the Brewers elimination, CC appeared to be inconsolable.

”CC’s always disappointed when he does badly, sure,” said relief pitcher and somehow-still-major-leaguer Eric Gagne. ”But when we we’re eliminated the other night, there was something in his eyes that just wasn’t right. He wanted to disappear, probably into a large tiramisu. We’re looking at 10, 20, maybe even 25 pounds gained this offseason if we’re not careful.”

CC has long been public about his struggles with food, once calling it ‘a daily struggle’ and even admitted he frequently relapsed.

”There are sometimes when I think to myself, ‘Man, some Big Macs, some cookies, and some Sprite would do me good.’ But then I look at my son and I realize he’s never seen me binge before,” the lefthander famously confessed to ESPN on Outside the Lines in 2005.

Sabathia publicly claims to have been free from food since 2003, when he hit rock bottom when he found himself unable to fit into his size H44 pants. ”I knew I had a problem then. I swore off food then and there. I needed to, for my family.”

The all-star has frequently spoken to children and adults alike about the dangers of food and has become a spokesperson for PATRICK, or People Against The Ridiculous and Idiotic Comsumption of Kalories [sic].

Regardless of his past gains, it appears that CC has once again fallen off the wagon and many fear the worst.

CC has apparently turned off his cellphone and hasn’t been seen anywhere near his house or Miller Park. At press time, members of the Milwaukee Brewers have begun driving around the fast-food districts of Milwaukee blaring Bruce Springsteen music in an attempt to lure the reigning AL Cy Young champ out from his hiding spot.

General manager Doug Melvin told SSNN, ”We’re hoping we can get to him in time before anything seriously bad happens. We could potentially have a situation where weeks of exercise are needed to correct the situation. It’s not that it will affect his performance, we’re just sick of hearing all of these jokes about his weight. It’s not that funny people, get over it.”