Oden misses first preseason game with temporary blindness following 50th birthday party

“I don’t know why they had to put all 50 candles on top of that cake,” Oden said. “Normally my mom just puts one for each decade I’ve been alive, you know. Or just one in the middle. Much more classy.”

The Portland Fire Department was summoned to the Rose Garden to quell the blaze, which threatened the lives of everyone in attendance. A fire department spokesperson issued a stern statement to the team.

“This is yet another case of the Portland Trailblazers playing fast and loose with the lives of ordinary Portlanders,” the spokesman said. “We have warned them that they should no longer have birthday cakes for any of their aging players, or if they do, to at least light the candles outside of the building. Preferably in a rainstorm, so that the citizens of this great town are not put at risk.”

Teammate Brandon Roy said that Oden looks great for 50.

“You know, the guy’s 50 years old, and he can almost dunk,” Roy said. “That’s pretty good by any standards.”

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to our newsletter or RSS feed and get hilarious sports news every day. Thanks for visiting!

Labels: basketball, Brandon Roy, Greg Oden, NBA, Portland TrailBlazers, preseason

Posted on October 10th, 2008

Got a headline idea? Click here to submit it... and be sure to visit our Facebook page!

Other Related News Items

• Oden to miss season with ED (July 13, 2007)
• Greg Oden crushes his NBA debut (November 1, 2007)
• Scientists use carbon dating to determine Oden’s age (November 17, 2008)
• Blazers trade top pick, avoid responsibility (June 27, 2007)

Link To This Post

Comments

Be the first to leave a comment on this story below...

Leave A Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.