Joe Buck arrested outside of B.J. Upton’s hotel room holding a boombox over his head blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes”

PHILADELPHIA, PA — When the Tampa Bay Rays decided to spend Wednesday night in Philadelphia, they knew they were taking a calculated risk. With their young team of burgeoning millionaires, reeling from a heartbreaking defeat in a city awash in celebration, there was a real chance that one or more of the Rays would end up getting in trouble somehow, either getting in a fight or being arrested.

Fortunately for the Rays, all of their players made it through the night with their freedom and their bodies intact. However, Fox MLB announcer Joe Buck was not so lucky.

Buck was arrested at 4 a.m. for disturbing the peace outside the Rays’ team hotel.

“Mr. Buck was spotted by passersby standing in the parking lot of the Rays’ hotel, wearing a trenchcoat and holding a boombox over his head,” said Officer Dante Green, a spokesman for the Philadelphia Police Department. “It was just before dawn. The boombox was playing a Peter Gabriel song. You know the one I’m talking about … ‘The light, the heat …. I am complete ….’ In Your Eyes. Yup, that’s what it’s called. Anyway, he was arrested. He said that he was really just hoping B.J. Upton would come down and talk with him. Apparently B.J. Upton just laid there in his bed and listened to the song.”

Buck remains in a lock-up facility in Philadelphia, awaiting someone to bail him out.

“Apparently Mr. Buck is having some difficulty finding someone who is willing to bail him out,” Officer Green said. “He foolishly used his first phone call to call B.J. Upton.”

When Buck reached Upton, who miraculously answered his cell phone, Green indicated that the call did not go well.

“I guess Upton said, ‘What do you want?’ and all Buck could say was ‘In your eyes, I see the doorway, to a thousand churches, the resolution … to all my fruitless searches.’ It was pretty weird. I think B.J. hung up on him.”

Upton was unwilling to bail Buck out. “So now Buck has to wait for someone to just kind of decide to come and bail him out,” Green said. “And, frankly, there’s not a lot of people, it seems, who just want to come and bail out Joe Buck.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!