Cubs infielders mad at Zambrano for inducing so many groundballs

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN CHICAGO AND LOS ANGELES — As the Chicago Cubs traveled toward Los Angeles down two games to none against the Los Angeles Dodgers, several of the Cubs’ infielders provided an explanation for their poor performance Friday night.

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“It was ridiculous,” said Aramis Ramirez about the four-error performance that featured a miscue by each of the four Cubs infielders and led to four unearned runs en route to a 10-3 defeat. “The guy gave up so many grounders, it was a joke. I don’t understand why a pitcher would give up that many ground balls. A pitcher should give up flyballs or strike everyone out; to me giving up a bunch of easy ground balls is akin to failure.”

First baseman Derrek Lee agreed with Ramirez’s assessment.

“The fucking guy was throwing everything low so they would drive it into the ground right at us,” Lee said. “Just a steady diet of mid-90s sinkers; what else could they do but hit a lot of ground balls. If he had kept the ball up and got more 399 ft. pop fly outs, we probably would have won.”

Shortstop Ryan Theriot had a simple explanation.

“Carlos was clearly not ready for prime time,” Theriot explained. “He just went out and did the same thing that everyone else does–try and induce easy ground balls, double play balls, two-hoppers, you name it. Well, that doesn’t work here in Chicago. This is the big time, this is the playoffs, and doggoneit, we’re just not going to field normal ground balls like it’s practice

Lou Piniella was philosophical about the whole thing.

“I look at it as sort of a learning experience,” Piniella said. “Maybe next time, Carlos won’t be so quick to try and get a ton of ground balls when he goes and pitches. You know, there’s more to life than just getting people out; someday Carlos will realize that.”