White Sox star Carlos Quentin injured while being treated for injury

CHICAGO, IL – Only days after the Chicago White Sox suffered a potentially fatal blow to their season at the hands of the poor decision-making skills of star Carlos Quentin, a further complication has dashed the hopes of even the most optimistic of supporters.

Bandied about as the front runner for the Most Valuable Player Award, Quentin suffered from a broken wrist that would likely see him sidelined for the duration of the season. The self-inflicted injury was a result of pounding his fist against a baseball bat, causing Quentin an amount of embarrassment and criticism from the media and fans alike. Little has since been accomplished to relieve his aforementioned embarrassment after an incident at the University of Chicago Medical Center.

While details of the event have not been fully understood, initial reports suggest Quentin was victim to another injury while making the decidedly poor decision to attempt to help the doctors with his own surgery. At the moment, the injury is being described as an upper body injury.

It remains unclear as to why Quentin has suddenly succumbed to a barrage of spectacularly poor decision making, leading to this series of injuries. His actions have undoubtedly earned him the distrust of Chicago area fans. Whether or not the team can rebound from this misfortune remains to be seen.

“It was going to be a glorious year for Chicago,” said surgeon and Chicago White Sox enthusiast Dr. Marvin Lawrence. “And then our star player has to go and pull a numbskull move like this. I volunteered to help with the operation. Anything I could do to help get him back into the lineup sooner. Next thing I know the idiot is grabbing medical tools from me and hitting his hand against them. ‘I know what I’m doing,’ he kept saying.”

Lawrence indicated that Quentin made “at least five incisions” on his own arms before the doctors could stop him. Quentin defended himself to reporters following disclosure of the incident, bandages now covering not only his broken wrist but also half of his torso. “I’m one of the best baseball players in the world,” the shamed player argued. “Why shouldn’t I be able to perform surgery on myself?”

The White Sox player stormed away soon after before having to be led back to the operation room after injuring his other hand slamming open the doors leading out of the press conference room. He also may have suffered a concussion when he attempted to break a metal folding chair over his own head.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!