Vince Young demands immediate and sincere apology from every Tennessee Titans fan in the universe before he goes back on the field

NASHVILLE, TN — A hurt Vince Young has demanded an official apology from every one of the Tennessee Titans 873,434 fans before he will ever take the field again, a source close to the team has reported to SSNN.

“Vince was very hurt by the fans booing him the other day,” the official said, referring to the cascade of boos that rained upon Young as he struggled to get the offense going in the Titans’ season-opening 17-10 victory over the Jacksonville Jaguars. “So he has demanded that every single fan of the Tennessee Titans apologize to him before he is willing to take the field again.”

Young confirmed this news.

“I want a heartfelt apology from every single fan of the Tennessee Titans, if they ever want to see me in a Titans uniform again,” Young said. “I don’t care if the people were at the game or not, or if they were booing or not. Everyone owes me an apology. After all, I’m a professional football quarterback, who is just trying to do his job. And part of my job is absolutely NOT to be booed. In fact, I’m not sure where fan reactions of any sort are included in my job description, so I want an apology, and I want it now.”

To date, approximately 477,450 Titans fans had apologized to Young, either via text message, email, or during an in-person session he scheduled at a local Borders.

“We’ve had a pretty good turnout so far,” Young said. “They’re saying they’ve got less than 400,000 to go. I’m not so sure, though. At least 50,000 of those apologies were pretty weak. A lot of them were clearly not heartfelt, and there were also a lot of people crossing their fingers and/or toes, which as you know, nullifies the apology immediately.”

Young says that realistically he hopes to return about week four, when the apologies have been completed.

“By then, we will likely be only 2-1, with only a small chance of being 3-0, and our fans will surely realize what a mistake they have made by being so rude to me,” Young said. “I doubt they will ever behave so recklessly again.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!