Gardenhire wants to go double or nothing; Guillen reluctant

CHICAGO, IL — An hour after the Chicago White Sox beat the Minnesota Twins in a one-game playoff, Ozzie Guillen received an unusual phone call from Twins manager Ron Gardenhire.

“Yeah, Ron called me tonight,” Guillen said. “He said, ‘Let’s go double or nothing.’ I go, ‘Come again?’ He said, ‘Let’s play one more and whoever wins the game will go to the playoffs.’ I told him I’d think about it.”

Gardenhire’s request is unheard of in modern sports, and likely is against the rules of Major League Baseball as well.

“I’m not sure if it’s against the rules or not,” said Commissioner Bud Selig. “To be honest, this has never come up. Generally when one team proposes something like this, the other team tells them to shut the hell up and go home. This is honestly the first time that something like this has come across my desk.”

Guillen, however, is still trying to decide what he wants to do.

“I really hate the idea that Gardenhire would think that I’m ducking him,” Guillen said. “So I think we’ll probably end up putting the AL Central championship on the line once more, maybe try and sneak in the game tomorrow morning, so whomever wins can get down to Tampa in time for Thursday’s game.”

Gardenhire is hopeful that his ploy will get his team one more crack at the playoffs.

“We tried everything we could to get into the playoffs,” Gardenhire said. “So when we failed, I thought to myself, maybe I can bait Guillen into continuing to play us until eventually we win and end up in the playoffs. At first I thought it was a longshot; now I’m not so sure.”

“Look, as of right now, we’re AL Central champs,” said Guillen. “Could that all change tomorrow? Absolutely.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!