Chase Daniel awarded 2008 Heisman trophy

JEFFERSON CITY, MO — In another startling move from the Missouri legislature, the body has decided to award Mizzou quarterback Chase Daniel the 2008 Heisman trophy.

“I’m pleased to announce that we’ve decided to award Chase Daniel with the 2008 Heisman Trophy,” said Michael Gibbons, President Pro Tem of the Missouri State Senate. “His excellence on the field has warranted the trophy, and we felt we, on behalf of the citizens of the great state of Missouri, and not those assholes at the Downtown Athletic Club, should be the ones to give it to him.”

The state also announced today that it was awarding the 2009 Heisman to Jeremy Maclin, and the 2028 Heisman to unborn and yet-to-be-conceived John Henry Daniel, Chase’s son that he is expected to conceive in three years.

“We think Johnny Daniel is going to be a fine QB for Mizzou in 2028, and we want to encourage him to get things going by granting him the 2028 Heisman Trophy,” Gibbons said. “I’m sure whatever woman Chase chooses as his bride will be wonderful, and that Johnny Daniel is going to be a wonderful quarterback and an even better Missourian.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!