Thomas absolutely wrecking Edwards in WordTwist on Facebook

CLEVELAND, OH — Joe Thomas has a broken heart, but it’s slowly healing.

Although Thomas, an avid user of Facebook, contends that the loss of the Scrabulous application is an “utter travesty” and a “nightmarish, doomsday example of corporate indignity,” the 6′7″, 340-lb. lineman has landed on his feet, embracing the new application WordTwist and leveraging it to assert his vastly superior vocabulary over his other teammates.

“When they pulled Scrabulous, I thought I was gonna die,” Thomas said. “I mean, I didn’t want to die, but I definitely didn’t want to live anymore, if you can follow my meaning.

“I tried the new Scrabble application, but that was total garbage. Who wants to play some half-broken application that never starts a game when you want it to, and then you look at it the next day and there’s a baker’s dozen of the same game already started? Not me.”

Follow SSNN on Twitter!

Thomas, however, has found a home with WordTwist, a new application that embraces the same concepts as other word games – rearranging letters to form as many words as possible. He has repeatedly thrashed Braylon Edwards, and is now planning on “showing Jamal Lewis a thing or two about the English language.”

“It’s not even really a contest with Braylon,” Thomas said. “He has a predilection toward use of three- and four-letter words whenever possible. That’s antithetical to the mindset that you need to use in WordTwist, should you desire success. Remember, every time you use all the letters, it’s a 25-point bonus.”

Whereas the standard settings for the game involve only six letters and three rounds, Thomas is fond of setting the maximums to nine letters and five rounds.

“The dual-pronged approach that is necessary based on these settings examines both the depth and breadth of vocabulary, as well as endurance,” Thomas said. “Fortunately for me, Braylon lacks depth and breadth, and his endurance is legendarily lacking inside these walls.”

Perhaps the most thrilling victory for Thomas came in the final game the pair played, which was an 8-letter max game. Thomas used the letters E-R-V-E-I-C-R-E to spell the word RECEIVER, only moments after Edwards played a full round in which his best word was RICE.