Olympics rocked by another age scandal

BEIJING, CHINA — As the Olympics closed, one more scandal rocked the games, as American swimmer Dara Torres was found to be only 41 years old, and not 42 years old as originally presumed.

“We are saddened to find out that yet another athlete has lied about their age in an apparent effort to win favor with fans and participate in these games,” said IOC president Jacques Rogge. “This is a sad day for sport.”

Torres will not turn 42 until next year, but apparently really wanted the fame and adulation that come from being a 42-year-old Olympian.

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“I made a mistake,” Torres said. “I will pay for it for the rest of my life. I’ll forever be known as the person who lied about their age at the Olympics, and that makes me really sad.”

Torres couldn’t explain exactly what made her decide to lie about her age, but thinks it may trace back to a conversation she had with other swimmers after her last Olympic performance.

“In Athens, I was chatting with some swimmers after a bad loss, and they were all, ‘If you can’t win now, you’ll never be able to win at 42,’ and I was all, ‘What do you even mean, I’m only going to be 41 at the next Olympics,’” Torres recounted. “Anyway, I just wanted to prove all those bastards wrong. I mean, how the hell could they know what I might do before the next Olympics? They don’t know what drugs I might be on, or how many children I might have between Games.

“It just really gets to me when people say I can’t do something, so then I just go ahead and do it, you know? I guess in retrospect it would have basically been the same if I was 41, but they said 42 – so I wanted to win a medal as a 42-year-old. And you know what? I accomplished my goal.”