Obama asks to have fantasy football draft rescheduled for third time

DENVER, CO — Barack Obama’s fantasy football leaguemates are growing tired of his antics, and are thinking about taking some real corrective action against the Illinois senator-turned-presidential candidate.

“For the third time, we have to reschedule the fantasy football draft,” wrote league president James Wilcox, a Chicago-based attorney, in an email to the league. “This is due to one of our league members – let’s just call him Marack Shoshama – apparently ‘forgot’ that he’ll be unable to be at BW3 on Wednesday night, due to the fact that he has a prior commitment to be in Denver for the Democratic National Convention.

“While this is a totally reasonable excuse, it does not change the fact that this is the third time that we’ve had to reschedule the draft because of this member. Frankly, if we don’t get it done soon, we may as well just cancel the fantasy season. And that, my friends, is not something that I am willing to do.”

As per league rules, Obama has already been fined an extra $17 on his league dues and will forfeit his third round, sixth round, and ninth round picks.

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“It’s a tough penalty, to be sure,” Wilcox said. “But we simply cannot have league members skipping the draft. It ruins it for everybody. I mean, we’re all busy, but if you want to do something, you make time for it.”

Even still, Wilcox is trying to work with Obama to find a mutually agreeable time for the meeting, because he doesn’t want to repeat the same problems that cropped up last year.

“Last year, Barack couldn’t attend the draft either,” Wilcox told SSNN. “Only instead of trying to choose a new time, he just had his cousin draft his team for him. The only problem was that his cousin doesn’t know shit about fantasy football, so he just showed up with a magazine and tried to make a bunch of picks.

“He ended up drafting a couple of guys who were injured, and I am pretty sure he took Chris Simms in the third round or something like that. Anyway, Barack spent the next six weeks whining about it on the league board, so we’re trying to avoid that situation again, obviously.”

Obama has proposed that the draft either be done on Saturday morning at 8 am eastern time, when he can call in from a layover at an airport, or 6 pm next Thursday, so the league can get the selections in with enough time to get them loaded into the system before the first set of games.

“I’d really like to make this work,” Obama said in a recent email response to his leaguemates. “But you guys gotta work with me here a bit. I can make this league a priority, but I have some other things to take care of these days as well.”