Jay Cutler makes surprise appearance at Democratic National Convention

DENVER, CO — Jay Cutler turned the Democratic National Convention on its ear Wednesday night when he made a surprise appearance following Joe Biden’s speech.

Cutler, who had been walking the streets of Denver looking for change in soda machines (just a part of his normal Wednesday behavior) came upon the Pepsi Center and decided to wander in and “see what was going on.”

“I just walked in and there were all these people and lights and colors and everything was so shiny,” Cutler said. “So I just kept walking and walking, and next thing you know I’m on stage, holding hands with Joe Biden and getting kissed by his mom, and Howard Dean is in the corner screaming, ‘Byah!!!!!’”

Cutler apparently cut off presidential candidate Barack Obama, who was to make a surprise appearance but was beaten to the punch by Cutler, who moved quickly once he got into the arena.

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“I just saw an opening – it was really more like a white light, and I just started to walk toward it,” said Cutler. “I have to be honest… I was hoping that at the other end of the light, there would be heaven, or at least a few Laffy Taffys. Instead I was asked to address the crowd at the Democratic National Convention about the economic trials and tribulations facing this country.

“So I did that for a few minutes, then I did three somersaults, and then I proposed a clean energy platform. Oh yeah, and then I went and found an old lady from Montana who looked like my grandmother, and I gave her a high five!”

But even after his star turn at the convention, Cutler is not planning on being further involved with politics for this election.

“I prolly won’t run for president this year,” Cutler said. “Maybe next year though. You never know.”