Franklin turning Poor Richard’s Almanac into popular, pithy sports blog

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Noted statesman, inventor, publisher and author Benjamin Franklin is about to add a new entry to his already glowing resume: sports blogger.

Franklin announced Tuesday that he is taking his uber-popular almanac and changing it into an annual sports blog/pamphlet, which will seek to provide readers with interesting and insightful commentaries about the goings on of the colonial sports world – on and off the field.

“One of the great things about Poor Richard’s Almanac is its readership community,” Franklin said. “We’ve got millions of people who sit around all day with nothing really to do besides read our blog and post witty comments and banter on our site. I feel like we can really be the Deadspin of colonial Philadelphia.”

In lieu of focusing on mundane details like politics and taxation, Franklin said the shift to a sports blog will also bring a shift in focus.

“You should hear some of the shit that John Adams does when people aren’t watching,” Franklin said. “Well, now we’re watching. He’s going to be held a bit more accountable for his behavior.

“We’re going to let him know that he’s got a lot of fans, and we love him, but we also love to see YouTube videos of him laying the mack down on Betsy Ross after he’s had one too many ales. I think that is just going to be great content. Our readership has a real thirst for this.”

Franklin is also looking for a better method of distribution, and is hoping to discover electricity in an effort to better facilitate publication.

“Once-a-year is not really going to cover it,” Franklin said. “We’ve got to build a better mousetrap. GWash6969, one of our best posters, really needs to be heard.

“And it needs to happen more often than whenever I can rent the printing press.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!